Friday, October 4, 2013

Today's NaBloPoMo question does not apply

Q: Tell us about your favorite Halloween costume from childhood.

As far as I know, I never had one. We didn’t celebrate Halloween, so zero costumes for me.

So, since I can’t really write about the question for today, I am instead going to whine about the fact that I didn’t get the job I thought I was going to get. So much for trying not to be negative!

This job was so perfect for me; it literally looked like a cut and paste from my resume. They even told me, and both my first and second interviews, how perfect I was for the position. I had all the skills, and they were impressed with my experience. It was down to just a few people, and I was top of the list.

So why did they give the job to someone else?

They couldn’t even call me to tell me; they called the house and left a message on the answering machine. So my sister got to tell me.

I. Am. Crushed.

I tried so hard not to get my hopes up too high, but after all the praise they heaped on me after the second interview, it was not hard to get them up a little. I tried hard not to think about the more fuel-efficient car I’d be able to afford, and how I would only have to get gas once a week instead of twice a week. I tried not to think about how there would actually be some money left over after paying bills that I could buy some decent clothes with, and how I could finally save up the money for the Kindle HD Fire that I’d really like to have. And I tried not to acknowledge that the little bit of hope I felt about possibly giving my two week notice was all that was getting me out of bed to go to the job I hate every morning this week.

Epic fail. I cried all the way home. And in the driveway. And some more at home.

Today I just wanted to stay in bed with the covers pulled up over my head. I just couldn’t face coming back to work knowing that for now, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. I cried all the way into work.

I’m doing better now, but I’m still crushed. It’s like when a flower gets crushed underfoot; some of the petals pop right back up, some gradually recover, and the bulk of the flower stays crushed. That’s where I am right now.


Well, that’s enough of that.

I’m still reading Inferno and I’m really enjoying it. I like Dan Brown’s books; they’re like a scavenger hunt! I also like how I can look up the paintings and places involved on the Google so that I understand what’s happening just a little better. One of the items on my Amazon wish list is the illustrated copy of The Da Vinci Code. I know the plot is strictly fiction, but having the paintings, etc. involved in the story right there in the book would be awesome.

I haven’t read anymore of Omen yet, but I plan to make that my weekend reading project.


HAED is having an unannounced 50% of sale through the 12th, so I went over there to treat myself with something from my wish list. Here is the pattern I bought, called Ra Ra and the Grasshopper:

I’m wondering if I should stitch it on black fabric instead of stitching all of that black. What do you think?

I’m also considering running away to Mom’s this weekend. There are two stitchery stores downtown that I’d like to check out, but I hate sleeping at Mom’s. Her place is so tiny and there are no extra beds; Sis sleeps on the single fold out couch, and I have to sleep in a chair. It’s doable, but I won’t be diggin’ it.

Well, that is all the news for today. Hopefully I will find a way this weekend (if I don’t go to Mom’s) to post some pictures. If Blogger and my computer feel like cooperating, that is. It's kinda like Congress right now. We shall see.



  1. I'm sorry about the job :(

    Are those your eyes in the header bar? They look like a good match for the pair I see in your profile pic. Absolutely lovely.

    And I know I don't know you, but you should be kinder to yourself. I've only been reading for a few days, and I'm seeing a lot of you being down on yourself. Fat or not-fat doesn't define you.

    PS: Because I'm not a Blogger blogger (but rather Wordpress) I don't get notifications if you respond to a comment I leave.

    I subscribe to your blog via a reader, so each new post shows up in there, but not comments. I have to come back and check.

    That's just a heads-up, so you'll know what's up if I ever leave you hanging on a question or something :)

  2. Renae,

    I'm doing better about the job. Thanks for the hand-pat.

    Those aren't my eyes in the header, but they do look like both my eyes when I was younger, and my great-niece's eyes when she was young. I didn't even think about the picture that I use for my profile pic! How's that for being observant?

    And yes, you are right about my being hard on myself. 40-year-old habits are hard to break, but it's something I'm working on.

    Thanks for subscribing - I have your blog stored in my favorites!



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