Monday, December 3, 2012

Aw c'mon - give me a freaking break...

Well, once again fate has looked me dead in the eye, flashed me a toothy grin, and flipped me the bird.

The job I alluded to in my last post is not to be. The person that contacted me about it said that there probably wouldn’t be any decisions made until December; so even though its only the 3rd, I sent an email to that person just to let them know I was still here, still excited. She responded that the powers that be have decided not to hire someone new. They are looking at the workload and determining if they will need to hire someone, or if they can just reassign the workload to another person that is already there. She said to go ahead and look elsewhere; that she seriously doubted that they were going to hire someone else.

I know I said that I wasn’t going to get my hopes up about it, but you know I did. I tried not to dream about the extra money I would be earning, and the new (to me) vehicle I would buy, and how much better off we were all going to be with the extra money coming in. I tried really hard not to be disappointed by this news, but my eyes kept welling with tears for an hour after I got the email. I texted Sissy and hoped that she wouldn’t call me because I knew I would break down and weep if I heard her voice. Fortunately, she texted me back, “Buggery buttery bollocks!!”


I am getting so tired of this crap. What the heck did I do in a former life to get this kind of Karma? I mean, I’m not asking to win the half billion dollar lottery, am I? I’m not asking for a job that pays six or seven figures a year. I just want a decent job with decent benefits and decent pay that doesn’t make me want to slit my wrists after being there all day. I just want to earn the money we need to keep all the utilities on at the same time, all the animals fed and in safe shelters (oh, by the way, we have four rabbits now – yep, more animals!), and for Sis and Les to be able to get their medications refilled when they run out – not two weeks after the fact. I’d like to be able to have a little money in savings for when the Rodeo wheezes its last breath – which is probably not too far in the distant future. I just turned over 199,000 miles this morning on the way to work, and I need a bumper sticker that says, “Please honk if you see parts falling off.”

I feel like everything I touch turns to crap. Then I step in it and track it through the house. You know?

One bright spot right now, and I hesitate to call it that lest I get screwed on this too, is the fact that I am going back to school in a few weeks. I am going to Centralia College for a two-year degree, “Medical Administrative Assistant”. I took my COMPASS test (college placement) on Friday and did really well; I go on the 12th for the admissions and advisory fair for help with registering for my classes. I received two Pell Grants – one each for Winter and Spring semesters. I will have to attend classes part-time since I am currently working full time, but there are on-line and night classes so I should be OK.

Well, that’s it for the time being. Hopefully some good stuff will start happening so that I’m not so negative all the time. I hate being and sounding so negative.

Surely things can only go up from here, right?


(sounds of crickets)…