I'm Doin' It. But I'm Not Diggin' It.

Well, as you can tell, the promised postings never materialized. I’m so sorry. I will get them up, I promise. My internet at home is so stinking slow; it can take hours to do a simple posting so I usually blog from work. Unfortunately, all my pictures on my computer at home.

I’ve been a bad blogger lately. I have been trying really hard to be positive in my posts, but I just haven’t felt positive for a long, long time. I’ve been really down and so very unhappy, and I just can’t seem to shake it. I really hate my life how it is right now – home life sucks, job sucks, always broke, no love life, no friends, still fat, still struggling with the diabetes. I keep rehashing every bad life choice I have ever made, things that cannot be changed, and hating myself for not having a fully developed emotional spine and standing up for myself and what I wanted/believed while growing up. It’s completely irrational and unhelpful and unhealthy, and I can’t. stop. doing it. I cry in secret a lot. So - no positivity, no posts.

I did finally pull myself out of the piles of dirty laundry and candy wrappers that cover every surface of my bedroom and did something crafty last weekend. I told Sis that I was going to do something crafty that weekend even if it killed me! I made a mini-album from scratch and was quite pleased with how it came out. Not too shabby for my first attempt! Les thinks that I am a genius (bonus) and Sis said that she would never had guessed that was my first attempt at making something like that. It was a nice little ego stroke – sorely needed – and I felt like I kind of accomplished something. I had forgotten what that felt like. I’ll post pictures at some point in the future.

So, here is a run-down of life since my last post:

• Waaaaay back in December I mentioned that we adopted a feral cat that my mom had been feeding. Things were going pretty well; Cheddar was adapting to his new home, hiding behind the washer/dryer/water heater less and less, even coming to me (and only me) when I called him and let me rub his tummy. Then, one day, we could not find him. Anywhere. I was convinced that Jim or Les had let him outside on purpose because they are asshats and Cheddar didn’t like either of them. About 6 weeks after he went missing, Sis and I were walking around the back of the house where the cat’s outdoor enclosure was (and where Cheddar loved to hang out). And there was Teddy, out in the yard, OUTSIDE of the enclosure! The look on his face was priceless – like we had caught him with the family canary in his mouth. He immediately darted back to the enclosure, right through a hole where the chicken wire that made the walls didn’t come completely together. Now we know what happened to Cheddar. The enclosure is now no more; Les has plans to build a bigger and better one.
• In March I mentioned that I had joined a photography group on Facebook. I made it to week three, then quit. Sigh.
• In May I house/dog sat for my niece and her family for a week and a half while they went to Hawaii. Their dogs are SO CUTE! Peanut is a Chihuahua and Gus-Gus is a Boston Bull Terrier/Bulldog mix. I will post pictures of them.
• In May, we lost our sweet Snoopy. We decided that we would wait several months before getting another dog. On June 28th, I drove six hours and 250 miles (round trip) to pick up Amy from the Long Beach, WA Humane Society shelter. She is the sweetest little red doxie; she is Mrs. Weenie’s mini-me. I will post pictures and her story soon.
• July and August have been hotter than Satan’s armpits, with the exception of this week, thank God. However, September usually holds out for a few incendiary days just for giggles. I am grateful for the powerful air conditioning in the lab where I work; not so grateful that they set the thermostat to 50°. I have to run my little portable space heater under my desk all day while it’s over 90° outside. But still, not really complaining.
• Oh, and last week some loser got hold of my debit card number and started charging stuff to my checking account from Cancun, Mexico. God bless my financial institution; they were on it almost immediately. No problems with getting charges reversed, but they had to freeze my card and issue (snail mail) a new one. This was a HUGE problem for me as I do not carry cash. Ever. Because if I have it, I will spend it. On anything. And everything. It was a huge inconvenience, but it could have been MUCH worse. It’s all fixed and back to normal now, but for a week there I just wanted to stay home in bed with the covers over my head. Much less stressful.

So, that’s been what’s happening over the last several months. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer; I’ll try hard to find something good to write about. I’m thinking of continuing the A-Z thing; I was reading my past posts and I really enjoyed doing them. We shall see.

Thanks to all my readers for not abandoning me.

TTFN.