What the heck happened?

First off, I sincerely apologize to all my followers for falling off the face of the planet. I don't really know what happened. I just suddenly lost all of my mojo. My blogging mojo, stitching mojo, photography mojo...poof!

My blood sugar had been raging out of control and I have been absolutely exhausted 24/7. Exhausted as in falling asleep at the wheel driving to AND from work, falling asleep at my desk, falling asleep in the bathroom, etc. I was seriously starting to think I had narcolepsy. My doctor said it was because my blood sugar has been so high for so long, and my body was really busy trying to fight with it and that is why I'm so tired all the time. I saw the doctor a few weeks ago and she decided that she wanted to put me in insulin. When she said that, I just remember staying very still and trying not to become hysterical. I don't want to be on insulin! It felt like someone put a large church bell over my head and was repeatedly hitting it with a sledge hammer - BONG! BONG! BONG! The doctor had increased my Metformin from 500mg to 2000mg over the span of a few weeks, and I wasn't up to the 2000 level yet. She didn't care, she wanted me to start taking it NOW. She was convinced that the Metformin was not going to get it down on its own. So I was resigned to it. Until, that is, I went to pick up the RX and discovered that - even with insurance and a state RX discount card - it was over $200. Well, I didn't have $200 to pick it up. And I still haven't had it. But guess what? I immediately started taking the 2000mg of Metformin, and guess whose blood sugar levels are almost down to normal now? Yep. I can’t wait to show the doctor when I go back on the 2nd.

On a sad note, we lost Snoopy last week. It came completely out of the blue and hit us hard. Les finally sold his truck and trailer, so we will now have some additional income every month for the next year. One of the first things we wanted to do was get Snoopy’s teeth cleaned. His teeth were so bad, but they didn’t seem to bother him at all. They bothered US, but not him. He ate just fine, never acted like he had any pain. We took him in to the vet and they do a blood test first to make sure he is healthy enough to go under anesthesia. Well, he wasn’t. Turned out he was in early stage kidney failure. But, the vet pointed out that he was at the end of his life expectancy (he was 16), and kidney failure was a slowly progressing disease. She said he probably had 6 months to two years, and considering his age that was pretty good. She figured it was probably closer to the two years than the six months, which made us feel better. She recommended a diet change, giving him subcutaneous fluids for a while as he was a little dehydrated, and gave him some antibiotics for his mouth since they weren't going to be able to do anything with his teeth.

By the next day, he wasn’t himself at all (lethargic mostly), and we thought that maybe it was the antibiotics. After four days, he really wasn’t himself and was stumbling and acting like he couldn’t see, but most importantly he seemed off his food. I was convinced that he was reacting to the antibiotics, so Sis took him back to the vet. They didn’t think it was the meds, but said it would be OK to stop giving them to him just in case. Of course, Snoopy acted much like his old self while he was there. The next night, I was holding him on my lap and I noticed he was drooling quite heavily. That’s when we figured out that his mouth was hurting him. We gave him some liquid pain meds that we had for Mrs. Weenie when she hurt her back a few weeks ago; they seemed to help him a lot. The next day he was running around outside, barking at Luka, playing with the other dogs a little, and wasn’t nearly as wobbly. But when evening came, we could not get him to eat. We even tried baby food, thinking he could just lick at it, but he wasn’t having it. The next morning Sis discovered the bed covered in bloody drool and he had been sick at some point during the night. There was black runny poop all over the bedroom as well. She could not get him to drink any water at all and she could tell that he was just suffering terribly. She and Jim took him to the vet and held him, kissed him, and loved him as they let him go.

We still aren't sure what happened exactly, but here's my theory: while waiting for his blood test results, the vet and/or the techs were probably looking at his teeth, perhaps poking around here and there to see what was what. I think this set off an infection or perhaps an abcess (his breath could kill at 10 paces before; after that first vet visit his breath was more like Napalm). The pain just got worse and worse and there wasn't anything they could do for him. I kept asking why they couldn't sedate him - not full blown anesthesia - and load him up with numbing and pain meds and do something, ANYTHING, but I guess they could not.

It’s been a week and it’s still so hard. We didn’t get to love him for very long, but we gave him all the love we had while he was with us. There is just such a big hole in our hearts and our home. The other dogs seem to keep looking for him, especially at meal time. He constantly begged from us at the dining room table, and when we eat, we have found that we miss all the funny walrus noises he made, trying to convince us all that he was starving to death. His spot on the couch is so empty; I keep looking for him there, and in the kitchen where he could get under your feet in 2.8 seconds flat.

Of course, Sis immediately began looking for another dog to rescue. We were all open to it, but when we actually started looking at a few pictures on Craig’s List we decided that we just aren’t ready. I think we all need to take a little time to grieve and to heal, to reflect and appreciate Snoopy. Not that any dog we get will be a replacement, but I do feel like that is what a new dog would be expected to be. So we have agreed to wait until the right situation pops up. The vet knows that we will take any dog that is in desperate need, and I think that if we run out and get another dog now we may have to decline taking on some sweet baby that desperately needs our help. Sis agrees.

Well, sorry this post is such a downer. On a happier note, I’ll be house sitting for my youngest niece and her family this Friday-Tuesday and will be caring for their Chihuahua, Peanut, and their Bulldog puppy who’s name escapes me at the moment. Hopefully I’ll get some cute pictures to share.

Here is a picture of Snoopy standing in the middle of the dining room table, just for fun (probably one of the happiest days of his life):

TTFN.