Friday, October 2, 2009

Never give up on the day…

Wednesday night was a bad night; I had a binge episode and the rest of the night was one huge pity party blowout, complete with the rending of garments and the gnashing of teeth. It was spectacular in its patheticness (is that a real word?). It left its mark on me the next morning as the depression was oozing from my pores and was painfully obvious to anyone who happened to glance in my general direction. I had a really hard time keeping my composure throughout the day, and my lunch hour was spent in tears, weeping, and screaming in agony at the cosmos in general. I’m sure you get the general idea.

I had been writing my post throughout the day as I usually do, trying to capture the helplessness that I had felt the night before. It was full of accusations and finger pointing, past regrets, and general “poor me” crap and “if only” scenarios. Even in my profoundly depressed state of mind, I thought it was waaaaaaay to depressing to post! Even though I write honestly, the main goal is to be encouraging at the same time; that post would not have served any purpose at all.

My point in all of this is: sometimes good things still happen, and you don’t really realize it. Now, a few of these things that happened are nothing truly outstanding in the scheme of life. But, when you group them all together and stand back and look at the entire collection as a whole, it really changed how I felt. I didn’t really even notice them at the time they were happening, but when the BIG good thing happened at the end of the day, it made it easier to see them. Kinda like one of those pictures that are all dots, and you finally focus your eyes just right and the picture that was there all along POPS out right at you!

  • I was cleaning out a really old email box for an email address that I don’t even use anymore and found a recent email advertising a sequel to my all-time favorite computer game: Zuma. I had been hoping for the last several months that eventually a sequel would be made. The email was from MSN games and said that it was $19.99 to purchase, plus I would get a 40% off coupon for the next game I purchased. When I got home and went online to purchase the game, it was actually only $14.95!
  • I was looking at one of my favorite online cross-stitch websites and discovered that one of the patterns I had been eyeballing was on sale – 50% off! I bought it.
  • My bankruptcy attorney called me; he had gotten together, in person, with the debt management gal and decided that he would handle my bankruptcy. He kept referring to the collection agency that is not being co-operative as “those bastards over there”. Instead of charging me his standard $1800 fee, he is only charging me $500 (after first saying he would do it for $600) and he is letting me make payments to him, AND he is not going to wait until I pay him in full to file. This will stop the judgment the collection agency filed, and instead of getting their money paid in full over time, they will now get squat.
  • When I got home from work, I found my Nordic walking poles that I was sure had been stolen out of my Rodeo because I couldn’t find them. I had unloaded them from the opposite side of the truck than I normally do, and they were leaning into the corner where I couldn’t see them. I had almost bought a new pair off of eBay the other day, but they didn’t have the correct height.
  • I remembered to grab my checkbook and book of stamps so I could actually MAIL my rent today, on time (instead of driving across town to my icky landlord's home to drop it off).

So, when I got up today, I said – today will be an AWESOME day. Because look how bad yesterday started out, but look how good it ended!


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