Over the shoulder boulder holder FAIL

It’s interesting what makes you happy and excited, and by the same turn can utterly disappoint you. I ordered a new bra and was so excited to get it. I am really hard on them as my lady boulders are quite, um, large. And HEAVY. It’s hard to find one that fits me comfortably, they are expensive at my size, and they are basically an all around pain in the butt to deal with. I think that they should make putting your bra on everyday an Olympic event. I am a shoe in for gold in the heavyweight division: Greco Roman wrestling style. But, I digress. This new one I ordered looked so comfortable and supportive, and not S&M scary looking either. I was waiting on pins and needles for it to come. It came yesterday. I always have stuff shipped to work so that I don’t worry about it being scuttled away off of my front door step (imagine the shock the thief would receive upon opening this prize!!). So I had to wait all day until I got home to open the package; holy pup tents, Batman! It was HUGE. I mean, seriously, even for me who expects it, it was HUGE. I excitedly whipped off my upper stuff and tried it on. Well, tried to try it on. It just didn’t fit. Extreme disappointment washed over me like a flood. Then I felt extremely stupid; I felt like the world was ending, but it was just a stupid bra that didn’t fit! Get a grip!!! I made a couple of adjustments to it and tried to wear it to work today, but it just looks awful and doesn’t feel much better. Intelligently, I had grabbed my normal one on my way out the door and stuffed it in my bag. I changed when I got to work. Tonight I will dig out the return label that came with it and send it back, and will reorder my standard ugly one. Dang!! Heavy sigh…..

Mooving on…

I have been trying to pay more attention to my eating habits. I keep waffling between being really gung-ho and apathetic about it. It is frustrating me to no end. I am trying to finish my book but when I got sick I kinda got thrown off track and am off my game a little. I am working on getting back into it. I still eat out, but not as often; and when I do I pay attention to how I am feeling – emotionally and hunger-wise – and I find I am able to order less food and be just as happy (if not happier). Take yesterday for example: I have been bringing my lunch for the last several days, but today I had to run errands during lunch so I stopped at Taco Bell. I would normally order 2-3 tacos, one burrito, and a caramel apple empanada (oooooooo, those are SO GOOD!!!) with a small drink. I always over ate and was miserable for the rest of the afternoon, not to mention the acid reflux I would have to battle down. Yesterday I ordered one burrito, an order of cinnamon twists and a small drink that I promptly left in the Rodeo and forgot to bring into the building with me when I got back to work. I was perfectly fine with that amount of food, not hungry after I ate and was satisfied all afternoon. I learned that instead of ingesting 1070-1120 calories, 47-54 grams of fat, and 104-114 grams of carbs and feeling like crap, I could ingest 620 calories, 24 grams of fat and 77 carbs and be satisfied. Now, are the lower numbers good? No, they are just lower than what I had been ingesting; they are still bad, but better than before. There are other choices that I could have made that probably would have resulted in much lower numbers and a higher quantity of food, but I am not that quick in the drive-thru line.

I also took myself out to dinner last night. All I could think about all day long was the stupid shrimp and cream cheese wonton appetizers at Montana Jack’s. I knew that if I tried to stifle that craving, I would end up eating everything in the house just to try to distract myself, so I caved. I ordered a half order of them = four little packets of heaven. I then ordered my usual BBQ chicken wrap sandwich with fries. I ate the sandwich but didn’t touch one single fry. I should have just had the appetizer and went home, but no, I feel guilty about doing that. WHY?? Why would I feel guilty about going to a restaurant and only ordering a little bit of food? Something to work on to be sure. I also ordered a piece of cheesecake, but got it to go. I was very satisfied and not at all hungry, but I wanted that stupid cheesecake.

I told you all of that just to tell you this: the cheesecake is still in my fridge, untouched. Even after the bra disappointment, and having to talk to the debt reduction service people about my problem with the collection agency, I never ate the cheesecake. I never even had the desire to eat it.

I will take my victories where I can get them.

TTFN.

A difficult decision, rather easily made...

Well, I am making plans for the future; next summer, to be more specific. I have decided that I have had my fill of independence here in Montana. I miss my family so much!! The little ones are growing up without knowing me, and it kills me. My mother is not getting any younger, and I don’t think that it is fair that my sister will bear the entire burden of caring for her if something happens to her. She plans to retire and move in with Sissy, and thus poor Sissy will be under continuous fire without relief. Les is almost the same age as Mom, so the upcoming years would be difficult for her on her own. Besides, I love my Mom and Sissy, and I want to be near them both. I yearn for their company – even though my mom usually drives me insane. Sissy and Les have always told me that if I wanted to, I was welcome to move in with them; they have a very nice four bedroom home on five acres out in Onalaska, WA, waaaaaaaay out in the North 40 Boonies. Seriously, they can’t even get cable out there. The country lands are beautiful; they can see Mt. St. Helens, Mt. Rainier, and Mt. Adams from their front property on a clear day and the skies are so full of stars at night that it is unbelievable. Les is very excited and wants me to move out there ASAP. Sissy sends me text messages every day, asking me if I am all packed up yet.

I will miss my wonderful Montana, but going “home” doesn’t mean I can’t come back here someday. Sissy and I have always wanted to go into business together; perhaps now we will be able to do it! We have always toyed with opening a “modified” restaurant; like a place that only serves breakfast and boxed lunches; or a place that only does dessert, etc. She and I are both into photography and she has taken many beautiful photos of the local area, and I keep trying to get her to make calendars and sell them at some of the local stores in the area. She is afraid to do the marketing, but I’m not! So maybe I can help her do that too.

I am a seriously compulsive list maker, so now I am making lists up the wazoo! What to put into storage and what to sell, what to sell at a garage sale and what to list on eBay, etc. We haven’t told my Mom yet because she will drive me nuts, calling me everyday – or several times a day – asking when I’m coming, what my plans are, trying to be helpful but just coming across as bat-poop crazy, etc. To be perfectly honest, I don’t know the answer to either question. I sure won’t be planning on moving before next spring. No one in their right mind would try to drive a U-Haul truck over the five mountain passes between Billings and Onalaska after October and before May. The odds for nasty driving conditions just don’t make it worth it! I really don’t want to be sitting on the side of I-90, on a mountain pass, in horizontal snow and below zero temps. No thanks. I am trying to decide if I want to store my stuff here or there; I can’t decide if I should store my piano or try to find a place for it at Sissy’s. I think I want to get rid of as much bedroom stuff as I can, and maybe I can buy the platform bed I have always wanted at the local IKEA. They have one in Portland, and they also have one in Renton, WA; so I have two stores to choose from! My bedroom has a kind of Asian flair, but I have never been able to really carry it off with the sleigh bed…

So, have you been enjoying the new season of TV shows? I have a few early favs: Community – I absolutely ADORE Joel McHale, he reminds me of Jeremy so much and he just kills me (if Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes ever grew up and because a human being, he would look like Joel McHale); Modern Family – I really like this one, and I am kind of partial to sitcoms that are filmed in “mockumentary” style, so you know I am a faithful watcher of The Office, and this season will be no different. Last night was the premiere of Flash Forward; I thought it was really well done, and this is the first drama series in a long time that I think I might actually keep watching after the pilot! I have been enjoying Glee, but I am a survivor of marching band (and band camp) in high school, so it’s pretty much a given that I can relate to the characters on the show. The Big Bang Theory is back for another season, and I am so glad!! I purchased the first season on DVD and hope to get the second season soon. Of course new seasons of Family Guy make me happy, and I can’t wait to see if The Cleveland Show will be any good. I am anticipating V and Brothers; both look good, although Brothers is being slammed by critics before it has even aired. And then there is the fabulous So You Think You Can Dance, The Biggest Loser, and all of the NFL Football I can stand (this will be the first year I have EVER cheered for the Minnesota Vikings – I love you, Brett! And for the first time in about 25 years, there is a team I hate more than the Oakland Traitors Raiders: the Philadelphia Eagles. Any team that kicks off a good, hard working guy to let a convicted felon play on their team for obscene amounts of money deserves to go 0-12 for the rest of their franchise life. Pffft.).

TTFN.

Got Cramps?

Well, as you can see, I have managed to get my weight down a little; and it makes me happy to see the number go in that general direction. Unfortunately, I am doing it the hard way – gastroenteritis. Very, very painful. To those of you out there that have suffered from this, my heart goes out to you. This is the illness I suffered from almost a year ago that caused my diabetes to be uncovered. There isn’t a whole lot that can be done for you; you just have to suffer through it until it has decided you have been punished enough and moves on. I lost two days of work this week and wasn’t sure if I would make it all day today or not. Seems like I will survive. I have some trouble standing upright, and if I move around too much the pains come back with a vengenance. Fortunately, it’s been a quiet day; not a lot of trips out to the warehouse or to the copier. I have lost about six pounds since last week – the hard way. Also, two days being completely horizontal and drinking lots of fluids have reduced my ankles and feet to normal again. YAY.

Even though I watch The Biggest Loser religiously every season, I was pretty sure I would not be watching this season (SPOILER ALERT – I will be talking about this week’s episode, so if you’ve TIVO’D it but not watched it, you may want to skip this part). There is so much yelling at the contestants by the trainers and I just can’t stand it. That, and even though they are monitored by doctors, etc. it still isn’t a very realistic way to lose weight. The contestants are put on a very low calorie/fat diet and they work out in the gym for 6-8 hours a day. I don’t even like to do things that feel GOOD for 6-8 hours a day! Of course, that is the only way they can get such dramatic results in such a short period of time; I seriously doubt that networks think we would follow these people for the 2-3 years it would normally take for these people to loose these amounts of weight. I know I would certainly get bored with it. And if I managed to be accepted onto the show, would I go? You bet your sweet bippy I would. Anyhoo I caved in last night and watched it. I was actually really glad that I did. This is the dreaded second week; the week where people lose only 1-2 lbs or actually gain, despite eating nothing and then working out until they barf up what they did eat. It’s called metabolism shock; drop 15 lbs in seven days and your body goes into WTF mode and hangs on to all the fat and calories it can with all the strength it can muster. It’s normal, and it’s incredibly frustrating. So the challenge this week was: if the group can lose a total of 150 lbs, there would be NO ELIMINATION. No one would go home! BUT, and the buts are big on this show (sorry, couldn’t resist), if the goal was not met, two people would be sent packing. The contestants were very positive and were sure they could pull it off. They went on their merry ways and started working hard. The next day, when the trainers found out, they absolutely glowed with negativity. Now, I understand that they are worried and don’t want the contestants to hype themselves up over something they could not accomplish. But what pissed me off is that the trainers were sure that they could not accomplish it. The contestants were obviously very dejected when they saw the trainers attitudes about this challenge. But they persevered. As a group they met with that celebrity chef that ambushes you in the super market and goes home with you to cook a nice meal; the blonde with the Aussie accent. He gave them a nice seminar on nutrition, etc., and at the end there was a quiz. If, as a group, they got 5 out of the 8 questions correct, they got a 15lb advantage at the weigh in; reducing their group goal from 150lbs to 135lbs. They got them right with only missing two. Hurrah! Then they did their group physical challenge which was walking from raft to raft in a baseball diamond shaped course; the “bases” separated by decreasingly wide balance beams that they had to walk on. They had to get from the home platform to the first raft, or base, as a group; they could not continue on to the next one until everyone had gotten on the first base, and so on. As soon as one person fell in the water the challenge was over. The prize for making it to the first base was another 5lb advantage at the weigh in; second base was an additional 5 lbs; third base was calls home for everyone; and the last prize for getting back to the home raft was an additional 10 lbs advantage at the weigh in. It was really tough, but everyone helped one another and they made it all the way around!! There were tears, high fives and hugs all around. It was awesome to watch. At the actual weigh in, the trainers were there complete in black leather biker jackets and long faces to match. They knew there was no way they would make the new goal of 105lbs as a group. This seemed to be confirmed with the pink team went first; Amanda only lost 4lbs and her partner lost 6. However, this was the only team that had both partners in single digits; Julio, who was the group pariah after his partner got sent home last week, proved his worth by losing an astonishing 19lbs all by himself! The orange team, with Shay who is the heaviest woman at about 450lbs, hadn’t weighed in yet and the group had already exceeded the goal weight, and everyone was safe; after they weighed in, it turns out that they beat the original goal weight by 5lbs – the group lost an incredible 155 lbs!!! I was so happy to see those stupid negative smirks get wiped off the trainers faces! This group proved that the week 2 of death could be defeated. HA! Take THAT!!! And I was so happy that not only did they actually meet the original challenge, they exceeded it. It was awesome, and not just a little encouraging. Will I be watching next week? Yeah, probably.

TTFN.

Oh, global warming, you nasty booger…

Man, it’s been HOT here the last few weeks. We have been in the mid to upper 90’s for the last several weeks which is pretty unusual around here. We are normally in the low 70’s around this time of year; we will probably drop from the 90’s to the 50’s in a three week span – that happens here a lot. Montana’s weather motto is: If you don’t like the weather, wait 10 minutes; it will change.

So, since it’s been so warm, I still have not been exercising. I have a lot of trouble regulating my body temperature (and it’s worse when I am heavy, better when I am thin) and because I do not sweat, I overheat really easily. I overheat just walking around large warehouse-style stores like Wal-Mart or Costco; places where it is not evenly cool all over. My face turns the color of a ripe eggplant and feels like it is cooking from the inside out. I really do want to walk, but I just can’t do it for more than two or three minutes in 90° heat. I try to motivate myself to put on an exercise DVD and just turn the fan on high and aim it dead on me, but I am so out of shape that they are too much for me; I wind up sitting on the couch watching them like a movie. LAME! The mind is willing, but the body says to shut the hell up and siddown.

I know if just move even a little bit that it will help to rev up my metabolism. The goal for this weekend is to leave the TV off until the Montana State football game comes on, put on the dance tunes and clean house like crazy. As I have stated in earlier posts, I HATE to clean house; but the other night I made a clean spot in my kitchen and I have been dying to expand it, and usually when I put the dance club CDs on, I get happy feet and get a lot done before I even realize it. Yay! Please send me all of your house cleaning/happy feet vibes. Thank you.

And now, since I have done nothing lately but bitch and whine, here are some nice vacation pictures for you as a reward for being so patient. These pictures were taken in August, after The Luau, on the Oregon Coast. Mom, Sissy, Hannah and Bruiser the weiner dog drove out to Tillamook; then we drove south through Lincoln City, taking a respite and having some lunch in Boiler Bay. Then we continued on down to Yachats where we stayed overnight at the Fireside Motel. It was GREAT!! I booked the room off of the internet, and we were not disappointed. When they said “water front room”, they were not kidding. We had a deck that faced the water that was only about 50 yards away. We had a great time, and so did Bruiser.

Please to enjoy.

Boiler Bay

Boiler Bay

A friendly seagull at Boiler BayOur very first view from our room, Yachats

Bruiser on guard on the deck!Mom and Sissy enjoying the view while on their walk
Mom, Sissy, and me playing tourist!

CRAP...

So, I was just sitting there last night, quietly minding my own business, playing a game of Big Kahuna 2 and watching the newest installment of So You Think You Can Dance, when the doorbell rings. I answered the door and was promptly served papers by a collection agency, suing me for the $6k I owe them. I am currently making payments to them through a debit reduction agency. You can imagine my dismay. I made a conscience effort not to completely freak out and run screaming into the streets; I also made a conscience effort not to turn my living room into a circus of flying breakable objects. However, my efforts at making a conscience decision not to eat were over-ruled and the pizza man soon came calling, complete with two crunchy chocolate lava cakes. Crap.

This morning my feet and ankles were much less swollen and I was pleased, as were my feet and ankles. I decided to step onto the scale, just for giggles to get an idea of where I am these days. Not the greatest decision. It said 330.8; my officially highest weight of my lifetime. I felt like a senator, screaming “YOU LIE!!” at my scale. It did not change the ugly, ugly facts. Crap.

I am now currently at work, waiting for the debt reduction service to call me back to explain why I am being sued.

UPDATE: Well, the debt reduction service just call me back, and crap has now turned to…well, you know…the stuff that hits fans and that creeks are made out of. With corn and great big chunks of me in it. Apparently, the collection agency never agreed to the payment offer that the debt reduction place told them I would be making. I did not know this. I thought they accepted it and every thing was honkey dorey. I felt so good because I was getting my debt paid off and was fulfilling my responsibility as an adult and paying back money that I legitimately owe. Yeah, well, surprise to me. The debit gal said to write the court a letter, explaining the situation and as for a trial. A trial? Seriously? I don’t want to go to trial!! For once I actually don’t feel like eating; I feel like barfing. Repeatedly. Until I die. I swear, I think that all my problems will finally be solved approximately two weeks after my death; I will finally be at the weight I have always wanted to be, and all my bill collectors will finally stop hounding me for money.

I called Sissy from the warehouse on my cell phone, crying my head off. She was very sympathetic and calming, which is exactly why I called her! She thought that maybe I should call the bankruptcy lawyer back that I was working with before I decided to go the debit reduction route. I hate to declare bankruptcy, but I can’t have them garnish my wages if the judge rules for the collection agency, which the debt reduction gal is pretty sure he will. Must…not…use…F-word… After hanging up with her I sat on the dock and wept and felt sorry for myself for a little while, then got it together and came back into the office. I had waiting for me an email from the warehouse foreman that had witnessed my melt down, offering his empathy and listening ear. What a sweetheart. He told me he currently has five judgments against him, and is being garnished monthly for about $850. Oh. Suddenly I feel slightly idiotic, but it still doesn’t change the fact that I have to get this taken care of, and it doesn’t really change my anxiety level that much. I am terrified that if my landlord somehow finds out, he will evict me. He sees this kind of thing as a huge flaw in character, and when I signed my lease, it was on his list of things that he will boot someone’s butt to the curb for. But, this is just a sign of my anxiety – catastrophe predictions. There is no way he can find out unless I tell him, and deep down I know that. Right? Right. Of course, Harriett is trying to use this against me in typical Nazi bitch style. So far, I am able to smother her with my psychological pillow, and she isn’t squirming too much. That will come later this evening after work when I am home with no distractions to keep me from listening to her. I will just have to deal with that when it happens.

CRAP.

It’s hard to get back into the swing of things…

Since my vacation in August, I have been out of whack. Since I got back from my vacation last week, I am super out of whack! I am completely unproductive at work; I just can’t get my head into what I need to do, and I just want to sit and play on the Internet all day. I am soooo burned out by this job; 14 years of pushing papers around and fixing other people’s stupid mistakes all day is culminating into one, big, gigantic SCREAM that I am sure is going to let loose at some extremely inappropriate time. I am grateful to have a job, let me make that perfectly clear. Now, having said that, I just don’t want this particular job anymore. I really want to work from home because for me, it would be just be, well, awesome. No commute (not that driving seven miles to work every day can actually be considered a “commute”; more like an inconvenience at best); I can actually eat my meals at home at a time when I am actually hungry – not just because it is “lunch time” or whatever; I can sleep in a little later; maybe I could actually do something that is fulfilling or creative or both. I really want to get the scoping training done; Sis and I are still working on the financial aspect of that and it’s hard. She and Les sold one of their pick up trucks for $1700 cash – and they weren’t even trying to sell it! – but then Sis’s car broke down and she was crushed to have to use the money to pay for it. But that’s life, isn’t it? You get a windfall just in time for crisis. Sis was really upset that we weren’t able to start taking classes with that money, but I tried to get her to see how great it was that they had the money on hand to fix her car. Otherwise, they would have been up the proverbial creek without the required paddle, or even a boat to float in for that matter. She lives waaaaaaay out yonder where carpooling, etc. is not an option; nor is taking the bus or hitching a ride with a friend. They live way out in the country, and there is no way to get around anywhere if you don’t have a running vehicle; let alone drive 105 miles one way to work three days a week. Yes, such is her life. I just want to be able to do computer work from home, work on my novel (yes, yes, be quiet), make my jewelry and greeting cards, and be happy. That’s all!

So, in addition to sitting around daydreaming about all of that while I am supposed to be working, I have not been working on my weight either. As some of you may have noticed, that little gauge at the top of my blog has not moved. If I was honest, it would have moved – back the wrong way unfortunately. I haven’t been reading my book, though I have been talking about it to Sis and my therapist a lot, and I have been meditating on what I have learned so far. I just need to get back into it so that I can keep learning and start applying! My feet and ankles are big, swollen water balloons. They look like someone filled medical exam gloves with water and attached them to where my feet should be; my toes look like little sausages sticking out. Not real flattering. Or comfortable for that matter. This is due to lack of moving my fat butt and not drinking enough water. So I am increasing my water intake during the day and that seems to be helping a little bit; I just need to GET MOVING – preferably manually, not by vehicle. I walked around (stalked) the new Bed, Bath & Beyond that just opened down town yesterday, but it didn’t really help. Stalking kitchen gadgets isn’t the same as strolling down the sidewalk, and it actually just made the swelling worse. If I get brave enough, maybe I will post a picture of my poor swollen little piggies. Maybe if I poke them with a pin, water will spray out (like that episode of Will & Grace with the water bra in the art gallery).

TTFN.

Um...Hi!

You know, a lot of us bloggers figure that no one except close friends and family members ever look at or read our blogs; at least, that is definitely how I always felt. I know now that there are a few people that have been regularly reading my blog, and some of you have left me comments, which I cannot tell you how much I appreciate! So, I am pretty sure most of you can imagine my sincere surprise when I logged into my blog and found that my counter had gone from 247 to 11,905!! Holy crap!!! Well, I just wanted to say…uh…welcome…to all the people that are now stopping by to check out my blog. It’s very humbling, to say the least!

I think that my sudden rise in popularity must come from something that I did back on the 3rd; I didn’t write about it yet because I wasn’t sure how it would pan out, and then I went back to Sissy’s for another week on the 5th and so didn’t have time to write about it before I left. Sorry. Here’s the scoop:

I was checking my email one morning before I left for work (something I never do) and found an email from someone I didn’t know, and the subject line was the name of my blog. Uh, OK. I wonder what this is about. Imagine my surprise when I read this:

I work for the company that is producing Mutual of Omaha’s official sponsor of the aha moment campaign – visit www.ahamoment.com <http://www.ahamoment.com/> to see what an aha moment is and the great real stories we have collected so far. Associated to that, we have a 34-foot Airstream mobile film studio that is traveling the US on a 25-city tour to capture the country’s aha moments. We are headed to Billings this Wednesday, September 2nd & Thursday, September 3rd, and would love to invite you to share a defining moment in your life – large or small. I came across your blog and thought you would have a great story to share! You would just have to step into the Airstream studio for a few minutes and tell your story on film, which would be posted to www.ahamoment.com. We would love to have you if you are interested! We will be parked at the Yellowstone Art Museum (401 N 27th Street) Wednesday, September 2nd (Noon to 8pm) and Thursday, September 3rd (10am to 8pm). Let me know as soon as possible and I can reserve some time for you, thanks!

Uh, please excuse me a moment while I pick myself up off the floor. Seriously? ME? I was sure that this came to me in error somehow, that there was another blog out there with the same name as mine, and they really meant this email to go that THAT person. I don’t have anything that interesting to say, do I? That would be Harriet shooting off her stupid mouth (see blog entry below). I didn’t respond to the email right away, mostly because I was in shock, but also because I only had seven minutes to make the 20+ minute drive to work and I still didn’t have my shoes or pants on yet. I wanted to talk to Sissy about it, but with the hour time difference (earlier where she is) I didn’t want to call and wake her up. She seriously deserves her sleep. So I sent her an email from work that just said “CALL ME” repeatedly; I figured she wouldn’t be able to resist that! I was right! She called me by 10am, by which time I figure I had lost at least 15 lbs by fidgeting and sweating. I told her about the email and she was really excited for me. I had pretty much made up my mind to do it (why wouldn’t I?) and she agreed and was super encouraging (“be sure to put makeup on and wear that blue shirt you wore to the luau!!” Very sage advice indeed). I emailed M of O back and set up an appointment for that Thursday after work.

I went down to the Art Museum and did my thing. Everyone was super nice and made me feel as at ease as they could; when you are hyper-conscious about your weight, usually the last thing you want to do is to go ON CAMERA AND TALK ABOUT IT! But I did. I actually had a nice time too. I had Friday and all of the rest of the following week off; Sissy called me in a tax panic and begged me to come back out to her place, so I left on Saturday (I’ll blog about that fun trip later). On Thursday, I checked my email from her house because they said that they would send me a link to my “aha moment” on their website when they had it finished. Nothing. I checked the website for my “aha moment”. Nothing. There were other things posted about their stop in Billings, but my moment wasn’t there. Harriet raised her ugly head, telling me that I wasn’t good enough; they had hated me, hated my blog, I screwed it all up, they were disappointed in me, they made a mistake. For a few minutes I was profoundly depressed, buying into the crap spewing forth from Harriet’s mouth, accepting it as gospel as usual. Then I took a deep breath and told Harriet, “My life is not any different than it was before this. If they didn’t like it, oh well. It is what it is. Only Sissy knew about it anyway, so no real harm done.” She didn’t know how to react to that (HA!) and shut up. I pulled myself up from the computer chair and went about my business of living my life. If I had checked back a few hours later, I would have seen the email that they sent with the link to my story. I saw it on Sunday after I got home and was checking my email; I suddenly was very happy. Insert mental image of me flipping the bird to Harriet with both hands and feet (which is really hard to do – you try to see if you can get your middle toe to stick up on its own!). I still have not been able to watch my video or anything; I don’t have the right version of Flash loaded and am still working on that. I will post a link to it as soon as I figure out how to do that as well.

So, welcome to all of you; and thank you for checking me out. Please drop me a comment if you wish; I would love to hear from you. My deepest hope is that someone out there that is going through this same journey on a parallel path that needs to know they are not alone finds this blog. I hope that we can share a laugh, a tear, or an aha moment. And even if you aren’t on a similar journey, I still hope you enjoy my ramblings and pictures, etc.

TTFN.