Sorry, But Life Just Sucks

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but it's the simple truth: life sucks so hard right now.


Sis's health problems are way worse than we imagined. There will be no huge bounce-back from this. Her heart's ejection fraction is 19%; normal is 50 or higher. Much below 5% and you are on the transplant list. The ejection fraction is the measure of how well the heart squeezes and pushes the blood out of the heart. She is so swollen from fluid retention that her legs feel like they are made from cement! However, she has lost over 30lbs of fluid (of the approximately 60lbs she has gained), and it has helped immensely with her breathing issues. Home health nurses and physical therapists make house calls twice a week. I am going to check into the possibility that I could be recognized by the state to be her official care giver; I'm already doing all the work, perhaps I can actually get paid for it and have an actual job.


Financially, life really sucks. I am trying to support all three of us, plus the animals, on $228 a week in unemployment benefits. We've lost our internet (thank goodness for free internet use at the library!) which means no Netflix (we already were doing without cable or satellite); are really close to having our electricity cut off - and our well has an electric pump, so no power, no water; no cell phones; and not a whole lot of food. I'm trying to help Sis apply for disability since the doctor declared her 100% disabled, but it's slow going. The utility company has been very generous with their patience, and we did find a place that will pay $50 of our $400 bill, but I don't know where the other $350 will come from. I'm trying really hard to just live one day at a time, but I'm starting to have panic attacks at night, and when I dream, it's of me explaining our situation to the internet company over, and over, and over...


Otherwise, not a lot else is going on. I'm constantly waiting hand and foot on Sis so I have not been able to get any crafting done. I am able to read at night before bed, so that's nice. I'm going to spend some of my weekly budget on a component cable so we can hook the DVD player up to the nice big HDTV we bought this summer; at least we can watch movies that way.


Thanks for listening to me whine. I have a bunch of pictures to share, but I'm not able to get them on here using the library's computer. Hopefully I can find a way to do that soon.


Take care, and I'll yak at ya later. TTFN.