Friday, February 12, 2010

It’s 12pm – Do You Know Where Your Chicken Is?

I haven’t been blogging lately because I don’t have anything worth talking about. Nothing is going on in my life except some negative stuff, and I didn’t really want to go on here just to whine. However, I will mention:

  • Still working on my weight; still not making any progress.
  • Still haven’t gotten my bankruptcy filed; still having 25% of my wages garnished. I have everything thing I need to get it done except for the back bone to open my mail and to gather up all the scary paper work.
  • My only friend has decided that she is not interested in being my friend anymore and has subsequently and efficiently cut me out of her life without a whisper.
  • My rosacea seems to have pitched itself to a height never documented in medical journals and makes me wish that wearing veils over the face is an accepted practice in our culture.
  • I haven’t been able to see my therapist for the last two weeks due to snow; she works from her home on a treacherous neighborhood corner where it is not uncommon for vehicles to smash head-on into each other, hit her tree in the front yard, or to even hit her HOUSE when the streets are covered with snow and ice like they have been for weeks now. I see her on Saturdays; even though this week has been new-snow-free, there is an 80% chance of snow tomorrow. I don’t care if it’s MY vehicle that hits her house; I am going to be there tomorrow!!
  • Valentine’s Day is the day after tomorrow. 25 years in a row without anyone in my life, and the streak remains unbroken. You’d think that I would be used to it by now and that I would have found some way to deal with it and make sure it doesn’t get to me; but I haven’t. And it hurts. Badly. Nothing like two months of hype and promotion by every single means possible just to remind you that no one loves you to make you feel worse about yourself and more alone in the world. Thanks Hallmark!

Even though it has been mind-numbingly slow at the 8-5 day job, it has been a nice opportunity for me to troll the internet, looking for nifty cup cake recipes. Sis and I are totally hooked on the idea of making them for profit in the future when I get moved out there, and I have found several awesome blogs that are devoted either entirely to cup cakes, or to cooking in various forms. The down side of all this lovely recipe reading is that I am pretty sure I have gained back the 10 lbs I recently lost and gained another five just by reading them! Doesn’t drooling burn calories? No? It should. Judging by the puddle on my desk around my keyboard, you would think that I would at least loose the water weight I seem to be retaining in my feet. Sheesh!!

And now for a completely unrelated thought.

Yesterday, as I stepped out of the front door on my way out of the office for lunch, I noticed a chicken lying on the sidewalk in front of the building. Not a live chicken, mind you; this was a raw chicken – whole – still in the plastic wrapper from the grocery store. Just lying there in the sun, trying to be unobtrusive, just hanging out. My brain kind of locked up for a second as I passed by it (uh, is that a chicken??). Yes, I passed by it, since I was on my way to the parking lot and what was I going to do with it if I picked it up? Let it ride in the seat next to me on my way to Mickey D’s for lunch? Um…no. I did my lunch thing and when I came back, it was still there. Now, you need to understand that we don’t get a huge amount of foot traffic in front of our building since it is in kind of an industrial end of town; most of the people that pass by the front of our building are either working here, coming here to conduct some kind of business with us, or are part of the group of homeless and - how do I put this – inebriated type persons that tend to wander around down here. So you see, the thought of someone walking from nowhere to nowhere and not realizing that they had lost an ENTIRE CHICKEN along the way made my brain hurt a little. I picked up the chicken, gingerly and with two fingers, trying hard not to let it touch me or anything I may consider touching in the near future, and brought it into the office with me much to the incredulous laughter of the guys. Yes, they saw it too and were content to let sleeping dogs…er chickens…lie. I threw it in the garbage and washed my hands for about a half an hour. For the rest of the day and most of the evening I tried to imagine who the heck had lost this chicken. When did they notice? And how pissed off were they?



  1. OMIGOD, I laughed 'til I cried over your chicken story. You are an awesome story-teller.

  2. Had to come back again to see if it was as funny the second time, and IT WAS! Seriously girl, you oughta be writing for a living.


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