Dieting sucks, and I HATE IT

I sent the following email to my lovely friends, sister, and nieces; we are all trying to lose weight, and some of us have a specific goal of losing 40-45 lbs by August (thus the little scale-o-meter at the top of my blog page - you know, the one that never mooves? Oops, I meant mooves. Moooves. Moves. Whatever.)

Hi ladies – how is everyone doing with their goals? I suck. Big time. I am not any closer to meeting my goal than I was when I started! I have been frustrated and depressed, and it has caused me to find solace in my comfort foods: pizza (curse you Domino’s!!!! I ate an entire medium deep dish pizza Thursday night – that’s right, an entire medium pizza all by myself in one sitting); Super Nachos from Guadalajara (which are actually meant to serve four people as an appetizer); burgers and fries from McDonalds. Well ladies – that was last week. This is a new week – which for me actually started Saturday. The weather here has finally reached above 45° and is predicted to be 75°+ for the rest of the week! Talk about a boost!! Saturday and Sunday I opened every single window in my place and let the nice fresh air blow around and through it. It was fabulous! I started taking Lipozene on Friday before lunch and dinner and it really helps to dampen my appetite, and I am fuller quicker – which is the whole point. I have a 30-day supply, so I will let you know how they work for me.

Sunday I went grocery shopping at Wally World and got stuff for lunches and dinner. I seem to do really well (most of the time) while I am at work. I pack a lunch with a Lean Cuisine or Smart Ones frozen entrée, a jello or pudding cup, cottage cheese and fruit, and some crackers or something crunchy for a snack. One drawer of my desk is filled – literally – with sugar-free drinks for my water, Fiber One and Zone Perfect bars, and instant oatmeal packets (for breakfast since I cannot ever get breakfast at home). Dinner is my ultimate downfall. By the time I get home I just don’t want to make anything; the kitchen is a complete disaster full of dirty dishes, etc., I am tired and frustrated after a long day of working for this stupid company, and I just want to go through a drive-thru or order pizza online because it is fast and I don’t have to do much. So, I have purchased Weight Watcher points friendly sandwich makings, etc. so that I can just make myself a simple sandwich when I get home. Taking the Lipozene at about 5pm helps me stop the over eating and snacking after I get home, so that is a plus!

I do Weight Watchers online, and last week they put out a walking challenge and encouraged people to make teams, etc. I finally found a couple of people here in Billings that want to participate with me in this, and we are getting together Tuesday for our first “official” walk together (our team name is – my idea – The Billings Booty Busters). The challenge is basically to be 5K ready in 8 weeks – for either a 5K walk or run. There is no way I could do a 5K run in my present condition, but I am determined to be able to do a 5K walk! I took a little, tiny-weenie, walk yesterday – down to the end of my block, across the street to the other end of the block, back across the street again to home. I was probably only about an eighth of a mile, but it felt really good to just get the body moving, and I met my neighbor that moved in next door about six months ago since he was outside playing with his 2 year old son and 1 year old daughter in the lovely sunshine!

So, I am feeling very positive this morning – despite gaining 3.2 pound last week – and I hope you all are feeling positive too! WE CAN DO THIS. It may not seem like it sometimes, but I refuse to give up.

Love you all!!!

Wow, wasn't that positive and uplifting? I have no idea where it came from. Oh, don't get me wrong; I am feeling positive, etc. but I suppose it was just a little sugary for the real me. Anyway, so far so good today. I really got into a slump as it was my birthday last week - on the 15th. Yep! What is almost as fun as sharing your birthday with Hitler? Sharing with the IRS of course! That means for lucky little 'ol me, I cannot ever forget my birthday or when taxes are due. NEAT! I now need to perfect my Patsy Stone accent (I'M FORTY-TWO!)

I just get frustrated because sometimes things that I don't want to pass quickly always do, and losing weight is not one of those things. I get all hepped up and excited and positive, etc. but it still takes FOREVER for next week to come so that I can see the results of my progress (if any). How come the weekends don't follow the same time continuum? (That was for all of you Star Trek fans out there. As if you read my blog.)

But the good news is that the days are getting longer and it stays lighter now; Family Guy had a new episode last night so I have a NEW un-PC song stuck in my noggin' (a bag of weed, a bag of weed, everything goes better with a bag of weed!); baseball games have started in earnest; and the weather is finally leading us Montanan's to believe (erroniously, of course) that all the snow is behind us and we can now enjoy our first sunburn of the year.

So, until next time, please concentrate on the little scale at the top of my blog and will it to moooove towards my goal. Your cooperation is greatly appreciated.

TTFN.

Achoo

*sniff* *snnnniiiiifff* *cough cough* *snort* *SNEEZE* *whine for mommy* *SSSNNNNIIIIFFFFFF*

I have the crud.

I am whiny.

My nose is raw.

Lost 2.8 lbs last week. Reading Jen Lancaster's Bitter Is The New Black. Laughing my head off, which is OK because it's full of snot and not doing me much good right now anyway.

I'm going back to bed.

You Can't Tell, But I'm Moving In The Right Direction!

I am - truely!! I managed to loose four pounds this week; just don't ask me how. Cause I don't have a clue. I ate out, didn't exercise; maybe it's because I slept most of the day Saturday and only ate once at about 8:30pm? But it was pizza so...I give up. I don't know why I lost them but I am glad to be rid of them. So there. PFFT. I have somehow managed to reset my weight loss ticker by accident, but that is OK because I feel like I am starting over now anyway. I read a FANTASTIC book this weekend (when I wasn't sleeping on Saturday) - more about it below - and it gave me some renewed faith in my ability to lose this weight. My goal is still the same - to weigh 265 by August 1st - but I will have to work a lot harder to attain it now because I have been messing around and not paying attention to how much time has gone by. It is still a reasonable goal of about three pounds per week, and if I get this gigantic butt of mine moving, that will help out even more.

So, the book. It is "Such A Pretty Fat" by Jen Lancaster. I nearly died about 50 times from laughter while reading this book!! However, there is bad language in it, so you may need to self-edit it. Otherwise, it is fantastic. She has written three books total, but at the time of writing this one, she had only published her first book, "Bitter Is The New Black". She determines that she needs to loose weight, so her agent suggests she write a book about her journey. I loved it because I felt like (aside from the bad language) this book could have been written by me. She has the same views on a lot of things and she has the same sence of humor that I do. I also loved her because she moaned about the same things I would have (a personal trainer named Barbie?), her fears were the same as mine, etc. I like the book because it is about a REAL PERSON and her fears are real just like mine. I just got off the phone with my sister, telling her about it and I am going to send it to her so she can enjoy it. I think that I will also run out (drive, sorry, not run...not yet) and buy her other two books as well.

Well, that's all that's new for now. TTFN.

I'm Going In The Wrong Direction

Well, as you can see by my little weight tracker at the top of my blog, I am clearly going in the wrong direction. Apparently my brain has not yet grasped the concept that i am intending to LOSE weight, not GAIN it. I have set myself back 6 pounds this week! Curse Domino's and their fantastic Bacon Cheeseburger pizza!!! I love it so...
I must must must start exercising (hmmm, where have i heard this tune before? Insert sound of broken record here). I saw on the Biggest Loser where all but two of the teams were locked out of the gym and had to learn to improvise a work out for the week without using any of the gym machines. They used this super nifty device that they hooked to a tree and got a full body work out with it. Kind of a loops and pulley sort of system with straps and stuff. Kinda looked like a modern take on a Medieval torture device in yellow and black nylon. I searched and searched and finally found the elusive little sucker online. I thought that if it wasn't too much, i might waste a few dollars on it. Well, it's $200. Too much? Yeah. I guess i will wait to see if i can find one on Ebay sometime in the future. If you want to see it and read the testimonials about it, you can find it here: http://www.fitnessanywhere.com/page/000-94127/PROD/TSPBV1.
I am also trying to find a good bra to wear while exercising (frankly, i am just looking for a good bra PERIOD). Ever try to find a decent sports bra in a size 52DD? Yeah, i thought not. Guess what? They don't exist. I was on the Biggest Loser's website, reading some of the forums, and one gal recommended bras from Enell (http://www.enell.com/). I checked them out; they are not pretty, but they sure look like they would hold the girls firmly! They aren't cheap either ($79 in my size), but if they work, i would be willing to pay a small ransom for one. There is a place here in town that does professional fittings, and i think i will go there to see what my real size is before i spring that kind of cash for one of those corsets. But i would love to start exercising and not come to work with two black eyes (and then try to explain them to an all male staff).
My car has gone in to hospital today; it started making a horrible noise in mid-December and is now having other issues that i believe are related. It could just be a really bad timing belt, but it could be the timing belt tensioner. It could cost $25 to fix or $600 to fix. Boy, do I love surprises! At least i will not be able to hit the fast food places for lunch this week. I am carpooling with Ollie, so i will be forced to bring my lunch to work. i have a few Weight Watchers Smart Ones frozen entrees in the freezer, and i have my Dark Chocolate Raspberry Sugar Free Jello Pudding cups so i think i'll be good to go. Wish me luck, as there is a gas station right around the corner that sells nasty but tasty hot dogs, chips, goodies and candy that is not out of my walking range...curse you Conoco!!!
I got new neighbors over the weekend, and all i can say is WOOHOO! No, not single male heterosexual underwear models with a fetish for short fat women with yellow hair that don't cook or clean; but they are the next best thing. Normal people. Nice normal quiet people. I can't wait to sit out on my back deck this spring and summer and enjoy a nice book and a glass of lemonade without being accosted by my three-sheets-to-the-wind neighbor that always wanted to hug and kiss me, and all of her loud three-sheets-to-the-wind loud mouthed friends. Whee!!!
Well, i guess i should get back to work; i have spent the latter portion of this morning surfing the web and just playing around. Oh well.
TTFN.

WHAT I ATE TODAY:

• One sausage McMuffin with egg
• One McDonalds hashbrown
• 8oz chocolate milk
• 6oz water

1. One Red Baron Personal Deep Dish Meat Trio Pizza
2. One Dark Chocolate Raspberry Sugar Free Jello pudding cup
3. 20oz diet coke

Our very own DIET TRIBE

I have struggled with my weight forever. Who hasn't? PS - to those of you who haven't, I hate you. Unless you are under age 16. Anyway, I watch The Biggest Loser every Tuesday night WITHOUT FAIL. Ollie turned me on to The Diet Tribe, but I didn't start watching it until the very end. I really liked it. At the beginning of February, my niece Amber sent a group of us an email, asking if we wanted to band together and lose weight as a group; encouraging each other and trading tips, etc. I got out my step ladder and climbed on that wagon! (For those of you who don't know me, I am short; thus the step ladder...oh never mind.) We all got really excited and decided that we would keep track of our weight loss on my blog, and set a goal to lose five pounds by the end of February. As you can see, it is now the last week of February, and I am just now getting going on the blog. But hey - no one sent me any info to put on it! So, without further ado (adieu? a dew?), I am posting my picture and info (warning: not for the squeemish).

Heather, age 41
Current weight: 309 (AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!)
Pounds lost since Feb. 1st: 4
Long range goal: weigh 265 by August 3rd

Sheesh - I am all boobs, and not in a good way!!! I have decided that I am also going to record everything I eat on here as well. One of the best way to be successful at weight loss is to truthfully record every single thing you put in your mouth. And it worked for me tonight! I went to the grocery store to get something for dinner, and I really wanted either a piece of cake or some donuts. Ooooohhhh, they looked SO GOOD!! Normally, I would have felt a little guilty for buying them but would have done it anyway. But tonight, because I knew that I would have to be honest and list them here, I decided it wasn't worth it. SCORE! So, here is what I have eaten today:

• One packet of Quaker Weight Control instant oatmeal (made with water) in Banana Bread
• 20oz water with one packet of Great Value brand sugar free Lemonade drink mix
• One Burger King Tender Grill chicken sandwich with no tomatoes
• 12oz diet Coke
• One small Cobb salad made with iceburg and romaine lettuce, chunky blue cheese dressing, smoked turkey breast, hard boiled egg and bacon bits
• 20oz plain water
• Two small blue raspberry Now & Laters

Not a lot of food, I know, but it's always easy on the first day.

C'mon gals - send me your stuff and let's get this Tribe going!