Fall(ing) Down and Embracing Failure

Oprah Winfrey said, "So go ahead. Fall down. The world looks different from the ground." Do you embrace failure?

Here is the definition of the word “embrace”:

Verb:
1. hold (someone) closely in one's arms, esp. as a sign of affection.
Synonyms: hug, take/hold in one's arms, hold, cuddle, clasp to one's bosom, clasp, squeeze, clutch.
2. accept or support (a belief, theory, or change) willingly and enthusiastically.
Synonyms: welcome, welcome with open arms, accept, take up, take to one's heart, adopt.

So in a word, no. I do not embrace failure.

Do I own my own failures? Yes.

Am I afraid to fail? Yes. And no. And sometimes.

Is it OK to fail? Yes.

I have let the fear of failure hold me back in life. I admit that, but I don’t embrace it. I have zero affection for failure. I do not accept it willingly, and I sure as hell don’t accept it enthusiastically. I have tried my best to learn from it, and I have enthusiastically attempted to not repeat it.

I think Oprah was trying to say that failure can give one a different perspective on things. Failure is not always a horrible thing. Thomas Edison was credited with saying, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” This way of thinking is much healthier than “I’ve failed, so I’ll quit.” And since good ol’ Tommy boy didn’t actually invent most of what he is credited with inventing, you can bet he was paying attention to other’s failures and pounced on them when they either decided they enjoyed snorting sod, or just took a little too long to get back up.

But it’s true; sometimes laying on the ground, letting the ants crawl on you and smelling the dirt can help you see what you’ve been missing – or what you were just at the wrong angle to see. “Ah HA! My driveline is broken, and that is why I plowed into that tree. I am not a bad driver after all. Hey, dude, don’t step on that – that’s my spleen.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So, I had to take poor Snoopy into the vet on Saturday. On Thursday I went to rub his ears and he yipped. I felt so bad! After that, I noticed he seemed continuously puzzled about things. Then I realized it’s because he has his head tipped to the right. And he was digging in his right ear. So I made the appointment and took him in to our beloved vet’s office; seriously, the best vet I have ever made acquaintance with. Sure enough, double ear infection. $145 later and I'm out the door with a wash to go in both ears, a liquid medication for both ears, and an oral antibiotic. That poor dog, every time he’d make eye contact with me, he ran. I was afraid that he would hate me forever! But Monday night he got up on the couch and snuggled up to me, falling asleep on my leg for about two hours. And he still greets me at the gate when I get home from work, bless his little pea-picken’ heart. Because, you know, I feed him.

Les has a bad cold, and I’m trying to keep my distance from him. I have had a sore tonsil for about a week and a half, and I’m trying to stave off any crud that could be coming in my direction. I don’t get paid sick days, so I try to call out sick very sparingly. However, I refuse to be “that guy” who comes to work because they can’t afford to stay home, then infects every person they work with. Hopefully, if I have to succumb and stay home, it will be a Friday or a Monday. ‘Cause we just got AmazonPrime, and they have soooooooooooooo many things I want to watch!!!

TTFN.

The First Person I Fell For

Today's question is: tell us about the first person you "fell" for.

He was my first real boyfriend. We met when we were both in the 6th grade; we were the same religion and met where we worshipped - although to be perfectly honest, I don't remember how old we were when I actually noticed him. 13? 14? We officially began dating when we were 16.

Everytime I saw him, my heart tingled and I had butterflies in my stomach. I soon learned which of my dresses he liked best, and I always wore my highest heels around him. We had the same sense of humor, and we were both in the marching band, although we went to rival high schools. He's wicked smart and even though we were the same age, he graduated two years ahead of me. That was great because then he started helping with the colorguard so he was able to go on band trips with me. There was quite a bit of lip-locking going on, but we never went any further than that. Even when we really, really wanted to.

We had planned to get married, but things don't always go as planned. He married someone else - I won't go into any of that, it's the past and water under the bridge -just suffice it to say it shattered me. I found him on Facebook many years ago, and we keep in contact that way; he apologized to me for how things ended. I accepted.

And you know - truthfully?

He married the right person.

They have been happily married for more than 25 years; they have done missionary work in Samoa. It makes me happy that he is happy.

Now, if someone would please send Johnny Dep my way, I'd appreciate it.

TIA.

Today's subject: love.

Today's NaBloPoMo question is: Tell us about falling in love: what does it feel like?

I think that I can honestly say: I don’t have a freaking clue.

I have only been in love twice. Once when I was 17, and later in my mid-20’s.

Sometimes I think that those ages are too young to really know what love is. I know that there are those who marry their high school sweet heart right out of high school and stay married for 80 years, but I think those lucky people are the exceptions to the rule. I think that the love I felt was more like infatuation rather than true love. I think that is what most of it is at that age.

In my case, the love that was felt was pretty much one-sided (my side). My first love didn’t start out that way, but it did end that way. The second time it was all just me.

I haven’t had the love experience since. It’s been a mighty long dry spell.

I dunno. It’s a sore subject for me. I’d very much like to be in love; two-way love, reciprocated love.

Siggghhhhh………

The Great Fall Pie Question: Apple or Pumpkin?

That is today’s NaBloPoMo question in a nutshell. To be honest, my answer is BOTH! (Did I mention the weight loss blog with zero weight loss blogged? Juuuuust checking.)

I love a really deep, moist, juicy apple pie with either the double crust or lattice work on top. But I detest, protest, and despise a double-crusted deep dish apple pie that is nothing but four inches of air between the apple filling and the underside of that upper-crust. There is a restaurant out here that shall remain unnamed that does that and I cry a POX on their house! A POX I TELL YOU! There is just something so evil about displaying a pie that is 4 inches tall, then revealing that the filling is about ½ inch thick and the rest is air. In complete contrast, I have a recipe somewhere for Four & Twenty Blackbirds’s Caramel Apple Pie; layer after layer after layer after layer of sweet, juicy apples bubbling away in a caramel sauce…….

Sorry. I went away there for a moment…what were we talking about?

Ah, yes, pie. You can find Four & Twenty Blackbirds’s website here, or if you are in Brooklyn you can visit them at:

439 3rd Avenue, Brooklyn NY 11215
Corner of 8th street and 3rd Avenue
Park Slope / Gowanus
(718) 499 2917

I have never been there, myself, but I watched a story about them on the Food Network a couple of years ago, and I swear I could smell the pie through the TV. If you go to their site, click on the PIES tab and check out the flavors they offer. This season, in addition to the Salted Caramel Apple, they have an Apple Pear Rose and a Salty Honey Custard. Oooooooh man, it’s a good thing I don’t live out there. I’d be in pie heaven!

Now, about pumpkin pie. Love, love, love, LOVE me some good ol’ punkin’ pie. Especially cold for breakfast! I actually prefer my pumpkin pie either chilled or room temperature; not so keen on it hot out of the oven for some reason. I adore the humungous pumpkin pies you can get a Costco around Thanksgiving. I am not too proud to admit to eating those directly out of the tin with a spoon. (Did I mention the weight loss blog? Yes? Just double checking.) I remember the one time my dad tried to trick me into eating Sweet Potato Pie; have I mentioned on here how my hate for sweet potatoes burns as intensely as ten thousand suns? To say that I hate them is an understatement; kind of like saying the Pacific Ocean is a damp puddle. Anyway, I saw right through that. And even though he died over 30 years ago, I still haven’t forgiven him for it.

Wow. So…yeah. That’s my opinion about pie.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I finished Inferno today at lunchtime. It was a really good read; would probably make a good movie. I hope they don’t make a movie though, because they already screwed up the last two, and three would just be – I dunno – sad. Omens will now be my work-lunchtime book, and I started the newest book by John Le Carré - A Delicate Truth - last night.

Hopefully I will get some work done on Poppy Puss this weekend, and maybe if I hold my mouth just right, Blogger will actually let me post some pictures of it. AND maybe my new pattern – Ra Ra and the Grasshopper – will arrive as well.

Well, I guess that’s it for now.

TTFN.

To Jump, Or Not To Jump, Into What is the Question

Today’s NaBloPoMo question is: Which is better to jump in: a leaf pile or a puddle?

I had to think about that one. I would have to choose the puddle, mostly for ridiculous reasons.

I love the youthful idea of being outside in a super cute pair of Wellies, jumping around in puddles like a hyperactive Mexican jumping bean. I’m not afraid to get a little wet; I won’t melt. Unless it’s cold, then I HATE to be wet. But I’m getting off the subject.

The only drawback to jumping into a puddle is when it’s not a puddle, but a four foot deep hole, abandoned well, mineshaft, or similar. That would totally harsh my buzz.

As for leaf piles, they seem all fun and soft and everything, until someone either jumps out of one and makes you soil yourself; piles the leaves up around a fire hydrant and you expose your brain by cracking open your noggin; or you gleefully jump in and make leaf angels, only to discover that you are now covered with slugs. Or dog poop.

Ew.

Don’t ask me how I know about these things; sometimes one’s childhood is just too depressing to talk about.

Just a quick note

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit - Blogger has decided to bestow upon me a window of opportunity to post a few pictures and edit a few things on my side bar!

Woo hoo!

So please scroll down a few posts and see where I have added a few pictures, and please to be introduced to our doggies that have been added to the side bar on the right. I'll add pictures of our cats, Teddy and Miss Muffin at the next available opportunity.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

Wordless Wednesday - Autumn in a Picture

Via Google Image

The Sounds of Autumn

Today’s NaBloPoMo question is:

Which sound is more satisfying for you: crunching leaves underfoot or bubble wrap popping?
I would have to go with the sound of crunching leaves underfoot. I’m not sure I can put into words the exact reason why, but I’ll try.

The crunching of leaves underfoot brings to my mind a feeling of youth and freedom. I guess at some point when I was a kid, I ran headlong along a trail through the trees, kicking leaves and crunching them underfoot as I went.

The sound of bubble wrap popping kinda makes me nuts.

Now, don’t get me wrong on the subject of popping bubble wrap! Sis and I have often thought that we could be zillionaires by opening our own “counseling” practice, wherein patients simply rolled around or stomped on big sheets of bubble wrap. And that’s it. No talking, no reading, no special “growing” or “learning” exercises, no medication of any kind; just yards and yards of bubble wrap to pop however the patient saw fit. $150 an hour. I’d just get some really, really good noise cancelling headphones. Hell, if Dr. Oz can make it rich by doing what he does…Oprah? You out there, girl?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Nothing else new to report; still reading the same book, haven’t been able to work on Poppy Puss this week yet.

You know what I really want to do? Open an Etsy store, or sell some things at a local store here in our super-dinky indent on the highway. I want to make money from my cross stitch somehow, and not by selling my patterns and stash!

I love to make jewelry, greeting cards, etc. I’m not fabulous, but I think I do pretty well. My niece has an Etsy store (please do check it out here), and she is not necessarily getting rich or anything, but really enjoys it.

Does anyone out there make an income this way? Any pointers for a newb like me? Feel free to email me if you don’t want to leak your secrets in the comments section. I’d really appreciate any suggestions you may have. TIA!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Why oh why do all the Powerball winners live east of the Mississippi? I don’t even have to win the whole pot! I’ll gladly share it!

Hello?? Powerball gods, are you listening?

{crickets} {more crickets} {lone wolf howling}

Damn.

TTFN.

What kind of apple would you be?

So, how was your weekend? It was bee-you-tee-ful out here! Gorgeous blue skies with a few clouds, windy as heck, hot in the sun. Mrs. Weenie and Gigi did some serious sun worshipping by lying in the grass and offering up their tummies for baking. After all the rain during the week, this sumptuous break was good for everyone. Les worked out back on Sunday in the raised planting beds and managed to completely clear one of them of all the overgrown weeds. He will probably sleep for three days straight making up for that, but he felt really good about it.

Still reading Inferno; can’t put it down. Still haven’t read anymore of Omen yet. I’m about half-way through Inferno; took it with me on my Saturday errands and read it while having lunch at a favorite mom-and-pop diner. We love this little diner, but I’m glad Sis and Les weren’t with me this time; I was a bit disappointed in them.

There was a new-to-me waitress working there, and she seemed to be pretty on the ball. Keep in mind, this is a very small establishment with only one or two waitresses (one is the owner) and one cook/busboy. I noticed one customer had been trying to get her attention for several minutes. Finally, he just got up and walked over to the coffee machine – that got her attention! As she looked over, he hollered, “Do you mind if I just go ahead and help myself to a refill?” She just shrugged and said, “Sure.”

Then, when she came to take my order, I ordered a bacon cheeseburger and asked if I could get sautéed mushrooms on it. Sure – no problem. When the burger came, it had sautéed onions, not mushrooms. I checked the bill she had slapped down on the table when she delivered my plate, and sure enough – she had written it down wrong. After getting down towards the bottom of my fries, I found a hair on the plate (which I doubt had anything to do with the waitress, but ewwwww…). Finally, I decided that I would like to have a piece of their awesome pie. It took me almost 15 minutes to finally get her attention. She was a master at the eye-contact avoidance and hand-wave ignoring. I should have done what the coffee-refill guy did and just holler to get her attention, but that’s just not me. I would have complained to the owner, but she had left by the time I put in my initial order, and I figured complaining to this gal would not do any good. When I went up to the front counter to pay my bill, she had her resume and a job application out on the counter.

That kind of explained everything.

Other than that, it was a pleasant weekend. I got most of my laundry done (why, WHY do I wait until I am out of underwear and socks to do laundry? Why?) and got to work on Poppy Puss some more. Still can’t post pictures. Still working on a solution.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So, today’s question from NaBloPoMo* is:

If you were an apple, which type of apple (Granny Smith, Gala, Red Delicious, etc) would you be and why?

These types of questions are so weird. But, I guess I would be a Honey Crisp. This is my favorite variety, and the name says it all. Very crisp, like a Granny Smith, but so sweet, unlike a Granny Smith. Very little pucker factor here, and lots of apple-y flavor. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good Granny Smith apple pie, but I’ll go with HC for snacking any time. Unfortunately they are seasonal and not available everywhere. I don’t really know if I could say why I would want to be this type of apple. I guess I could say that I am normally a very sweet person; but if you aren’t careful, you could experience the crisper side of my personality.

Which, I suppose, is a very lame way of saying that I am a nice person pretty much all the time, unless you piss me off. Then heaven help you.

TTFN.

*It's so funny; I keep wanting to call this Nostromo. I guess the ship from the original Alien movie has settled deep into my subconscious mind. Should I be concerned?

Today's NaBloPoMo question does not apply

Q: Tell us about your favorite Halloween costume from childhood.

As far as I know, I never had one. We didn’t celebrate Halloween, so zero costumes for me.

So, since I can’t really write about the question for today, I am instead going to whine about the fact that I didn’t get the job I thought I was going to get. So much for trying not to be negative!

This job was so perfect for me; it literally looked like a cut and paste from my resume. They even told me, and both my first and second interviews, how perfect I was for the position. I had all the skills, and they were impressed with my experience. It was down to just a few people, and I was top of the list.

So why did they give the job to someone else?

They couldn’t even call me to tell me; they called the house and left a message on the answering machine. So my sister got to tell me.

I. Am. Crushed.

I tried so hard not to get my hopes up too high, but after all the praise they heaped on me after the second interview, it was not hard to get them up a little. I tried hard not to think about the more fuel-efficient car I’d be able to afford, and how I would only have to get gas once a week instead of twice a week. I tried not to think about how there would actually be some money left over after paying bills that I could buy some decent clothes with, and how I could finally save up the money for the Kindle HD Fire that I’d really like to have. And I tried not to acknowledge that the little bit of hope I felt about possibly giving my two week notice was all that was getting me out of bed to go to the job I hate every morning this week.

Epic fail. I cried all the way home. And in the driveway. And some more at home.

Today I just wanted to stay in bed with the covers pulled up over my head. I just couldn’t face coming back to work knowing that for now, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. I cried all the way into work.

I’m doing better now, but I’m still crushed. It’s like when a flower gets crushed underfoot; some of the petals pop right back up, some gradually recover, and the bulk of the flower stays crushed. That’s where I am right now.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Well, that’s enough of that.

I’m still reading Inferno and I’m really enjoying it. I like Dan Brown’s books; they’re like a scavenger hunt! I also like how I can look up the paintings and places involved on the Google so that I understand what’s happening just a little better. One of the items on my Amazon wish list is the illustrated copy of The Da Vinci Code. I know the plot is strictly fiction, but having the paintings, etc. involved in the story right there in the book would be awesome.

I haven’t read anymore of Omen yet, but I plan to make that my weekend reading project.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

HAED is having an unannounced 50% of sale through the 12th, so I went over there to treat myself with something from my wish list. Here is the pattern I bought, called Ra Ra and the Grasshopper:

I’m wondering if I should stitch it on black fabric instead of stitching all of that black. What do you think?

I’m also considering running away to Mom’s this weekend. There are two stitchery stores downtown that I’d like to check out, but I hate sleeping at Mom’s. Her place is so tiny and there are no extra beds; Sis sleeps on the single fold out couch, and I have to sleep in a chair. It’s doable, but I won’t be diggin’ it.

Well, that is all the news for today. Hopefully I will find a way this weekend (if I don’t go to Mom’s) to post some pictures. If Blogger and my computer feel like cooperating, that is. It's kinda like Congress right now. We shall see.

TTFN.

Will you dress up for Halloween? What will you be?

Woo hoo! I figured out how to get line breaks in so that I have paragraphs again! YAY! Now I'll go back and edit the other posts so they don't look like such a hot mess.

Anyhoo, the short answer to the first question is: No. The longer answer, if you are interested, is: No. I have never celebrated Halloween, and I am too old and fat to start now. Well, maybe not too old, but definitely too fat. Unless I wanted to dress up as a can of lard. Or a carton of ice cream. If, however, I decided to stuff the guilt of celebrating a holiday and if I was thinner, I think I would dress up as Amy Farrah Fowler from The Big Bang Theory. She is a hoot and a half!

Speaking of dressing up and the BBT, have you noticed how each character, with the exception of Penny and Berndette, has a very specific layered dress pattern? Sheldon is usually dressed in layers of a long-sleeved t-shirt with some sort of short-sleeved t-shirt over it that has a superhero theme or math/science theme to it. Leonard wears an undershirt, then a t-shirt, then a hoodie/canvas coat combo (the exception was when he was dating Priya, and he had the dreaded pants made from a wool/fire ant blend). Raj wears an undershirt, then a long-sleeved button down the front shirt, then a sweater vest, then a Members Only jacket. Howard wears a dickie with a different pin each time, with usually a long-sleeved shirt (either T or button down), with the same pants every time just in corresponding colors to his shirt(s) along with the same shoes every time that usually match his pants. He also only owns one belt, but hundreds of superhero themed belt buckles. Amy wears a skirt, stockings, a t-shirt, a button down shirt, and a cardigan.

Yeah, I watch waaaaay too much BBT. I am SO glad there isn’t a 12-step program for that!

***************************

As for cross stitching, nothing new to show (as if Blogger would let me post a picture!). Sissy came home on Monday, so anytime she is home, I try to just spend time with her. Even if we are just watching a movie, that's OK. I can't stitch out in the living room because the lighting is so bad, and there are usually 3-4 little doggies that want to crash on my bouncy-house body. I'd really like to open an Etsy shop and do personalized baby samplers. What do you think?

TTFN.

NaBloPoMo, October – Day 2: Favorite Autumnal Flavor

As I stated in my post yesterday, I do love just about anything on the sweets side made with pumpkin. I don’t like pumpkin prepared as a vegetable (as I hate all veggies), but put it in something with sugar, add spices like cinnamon, ginger, or cloves and I am a happy camper!

My other favorite autumnal flavor is caramel. But, to be fair, I love (luuuuurve) caramel any time. On practically anything. Heck, maybe instead of trying to get veggies down me by smothering them with cheese and/or butter, maybe I should try smothering them in caramel instead!

Ha ha!

No.

But seriously, caramel makes everything wonderful. I am really into the salted caramel fad now as well. Safeway makes a Salted Caramel Butter Pecan ice cream that makes my toes curl. And if you combine something pumpkin and something caramel?

SHUT.UP.

Did I mention I also write a weight loss blog that is currently not showing any weight loss? Yeah. Probably not a huge surprise right now, huh?

What about you? What is your favorite autumnal flavor?

TTFN.

A new challenge for me - NaBloPoMo

Still having issues with Blogger and my computer (even my computer at work). I think the main issue is that my home and work computer both run Internet Explorer, and the highest version on both computers is IE8. I can't run anything higher on my home computer due to having Windows XP, and I certainly can't change what we run here at work. So, I'll just have to make do until I can figure something out.

I have finished reading Joyland and NOS4A2; just cracked Omens and have read several chapers in Inferno. The Ocean at the End of the Lane is a really small book - only 178 pages! I am almost finished with it (page 139), and it's a different type of read for me. A children's tale for adults, basically. I like it. I also got several cross-stitch books from the library, and have a few patterns that I may use. Hopefully, someday I'll even get to post some pictures!

Speaking of cross stitch, I completely ripped out all of my Poppy Puss project and started over. I will have to say, putting the pattern's grid directly onto the fabric has really helped. It took me all day Saturday to rip out all of my work (sniff, sob). I put on seasons one and two of The Tudors and ripped out stitches until Anne lost her head. I've started re-stitching, and I am much happier.

So. This new challenge is NaBloPoMo for October. It is a themed challenge, and the goal is to post everyday (except weekends) in response to a prompted question. The theme for October is "Fall". Here is my first question and offical NaBloPoMo post!

Q: What is your favourite thing about autumn?

I love the smells of autumn. I love the smell of anything pumpkin baking: bread, cake, pie. Add cinnamon or cloves and I am in heaven.

I also just love the smell of the air. I love it when it's finally cool enough for people to start using their fireplaces or woodstoves, and how you can smell the smoke from a mile away. When I smell that smoke, I am transported back in time to when I was in elementary school - grade 1 or 2. We lived for a short while with my grandmother in Monroe, WA, during the fall and winter. Whenever I went outside - playing or waiting for the school bus - I could smell those fires. And when I got home from school, my grandmother's house smelled heavenly from her freshly made applesauce, with Red Hots candies mixed in it. Mmmmmmmmmm...

I love the crisp scent of the air just after a fall rain, mingling with the tang of fallen and wet leaves. And lord knows we get quite a bit of that fall rain out here in the Pacific NW.

And winter rain.

And spring rain.

Let's face it - we don't tan out here, we rust.

But it's that crispness - like biting into a Granny Smith apple, that SNAP - is like nothing else. I love it when the sky is clear and blue, no clouds, too warm for your coat in the sun but the air so cool it makes your nose run.

Those are my favorite things about autumn.

Oh, and Halloween candy. Just sayin'.

TTFN.

Picking up where I left off

Looking back at my last several posts, I feel that they were pretty negative. Sorry about that! I'm going to try to focus more on the positive, and just try to get into the groove of sharing some things that I am doing - like hobbies, what I'm reading, sharing photos - stuff like that. I'll still tell you how I'm feeling, but I'm going to try to be less of a Debbie Downer. OK? Cool. There have been a few things that have happened since my last post. Here is a quick run down:

1. Still working for the same place, still hating it. Went on a job interview last week on 9/10, still waiting for the company to make a decision. More money, less miles, happier me.

2. Les had a humongous blockage in an artery in his neck about 6 months ago. He had two small strokes behind his eye that they can see on a MRI, but he hasn't had any lasting effects. Fortunately they were able to get him into surgery and remove the blockage in time. He has healed up very nicely.

3. Sissy has congestive heart failure and an enlarged heart. Starting around March, her asthma just seemed out of control; by August she couldn't walk ten feet without having to stop to catch her breath (which just couldn't be caught). I finally convinced her that she must go back to the doctor, and that is when her diagnosis was caught. With water pills and a practically non-existant (as opposed to low) sodium diet, she has recovered really well and is about 85% back to her old self.

4. The goats finally went home to Jeremy's. He and his family have a new home, and we just could not keep the goats anymore. They needed to have their hooves attended to, especially Megatron, and we just could not provide adequate shelter for them. I am glad they are with their family now, and I don't lay in bed at night worrying about them anymore.

5. I managed to complete two school quarters; I took an algebra class, Human Relations (very interesting), File Management (lame), and an English class that kicked my butt. I loved every minute of it. I have to put it on hold for now because I ran out of financial aid, and trying to work full time 55 miles from home and attend classes at night 25 miles the other direction from home was a bit much for me. We shall see what the future holds as far as that is concerned.

6. There has been some drama with Jim over the last several months, and Les has come very close to tossing him out of the house. Frankly, I am so over it and tired of talking about it that I'm not going to discuss it in detail here (at least not right now). Suffice it to say, he is kind of on probation right now, and is currently minding his P's and Q's.

So, that's what has been going on in a nutshell. Now. Onto the new leaf. 

CROSS STITCH

I love to cross stitch. I have been doing it since I was about 12. The bad thing is that I can count on one hand how many projects I have actually completed. (Bad) I love to collect patterns, and the other bad thing is that I now have enough patterns to last me for the rest of my life, plus an additional good 60 years or so. I have wish lists on Heaven and Earth Designs' website and ABC Stitch Therapy's website that are about 50 patterns so far - each. Yikes. I found some excellent blog sites and have learned quite a bit from them. There are whole blogs dedicated to stitching Heaven and Earth Designs (HAED's) and I am going to use a bunch of the tips that I have picked up from that site. I have learned about SALs (stitch a longs), WIPs (works in progress), and confetti. I have learned about mapping out the grid of the pattern directly onto your fabric with a water soluble markers so that it's much easier to keep your place and not make mistakes. I have a HAED pattern that I started last year; I was working on it and have come to the heartbreaking decision that I'm going to have to rip it all out (known as frogging) and start all over. I've just made too many mistakes to be able to fudge it, and I want it to be done correctly. Here is what it will look like when it's done:

Poppy Puss by HAED

And now, Blogger will not let me left justify my text. Sheesh. Anyhoo, here is how far I had gotten before I realized that I was going to have to tear it all out and start again from scratch:

Bazinga. Blogger won't let me load the picture.

I think I'm beginning to remember why I haven't been blogging. Oh well. I still need to fiddle fart around with this and see if I can't bypass the problems.  I will post pictures when I figure something out. So, in the meantime, I'm working on a sampler from Jeanette Crews Designs called "Country Sampler". Let's see if I can post a picture of it:

Well, what do you know, it worked! And my text is left justified again!  I have finished the E (eggs) and the D (duck); I'm nearly finished with the C (cat). (And on a side note, I never realized until now that there is a VW Bug in the background. Huh.)  I'm not exactly sure when I started working on this; I think it may have been last year some time.

READING

I had been tracking my reading on the sidebar, but it is now woefully out of date. I'm going to leave the books on there, but will add my most recent to it and will mention them here in the blog itself.

Books I am currently reading:

NOS4A2 by Joe Hill - almost finished with it. I feel this one reads much more like a Stephen King novel than his other books, and I am kind of disappointed by that. (Joe is Stephen's son, just in case you weren't aware.) But, it is still a good read, and not quite as "out there" as SK's books can be.

Joyland by Stephen King - speak of the devil (no pun intended). Just started but is already showing classic signs of a SK novel.

Omens by Kelley Armstrong - just picked up from the library today and haven't started it yet. A 24 year old woman with a great life discovers she is adopted, and her real parents are notorious serial killers serving life sentences. She seeks the truth about her parents, and of course, there are those that have issues with that.

Books I have read recently:

I love books by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child, especially the Pendergast series. I have read them all, and I have been 90% pleased with them. There were a couple that I felt were not really up to par, and they were kind of like the 2nd Matrix movie - just a bridge between the first and the third, without any real merit of their own. I didn't feel that way about the last three I read: Cold Vengence, Two Graves, and the first of their new series - Gideon's Sword.

I also read Alafair Burke's novel If You Were Here, and I highly recommend it. It was one where I thought I pretty much had everything figured out, but there was still a twist I didn't see coming. I started to read The Execution of Nora P. Singleton by Elizabeth L. Silver, but I had so many books checked out at once that were not renewable, that I had to turn this one in before I even got the first chapter read. It is going back on my waiting list at the library.

I currently have seven novels on hold with the library; The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman is currently on its way, and the following are still waiting for my turn: A Delicate Truth by John LeCarre, Inferno: a novel by Dan Brown, the Shining Girls by Lauren Beukes, Doctor Sleep by Stephen King, White Fire by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child, and The Cuckoo's Calling by Robert Galbraith (aka JK Rowling).

Well, due to the problems with Blogger and my very slow "high speed" internet connection, it has taken me about three hours to do this post. I'm tired. I want to go to bed now. As soon as I can, I will post new pictures of our critters and my cross stitch projects; maybe we can talk out what we are watching on the boob tube these days.

Smell ya later. TTFN.

Are you still out there?

Hi there - I know, I know...worst.blogger.ever. I'm so sorry. I have every intent to start up again, but Blogger has decided that my operating system no longer works for them and I am having a devil of a time trying to post anything. I am currently posting this from my sister's laptop, but I hate typing on it and I can't post any of my pictures from here.

Please be patient, and I promise that as soon as I have something worked out, I will be back.

Thanks!

Aw c'mon - give me a freaking break...

Well, once again fate has looked me dead in the eye, flashed me a toothy grin, and flipped me the bird.

The job I alluded to in my last post is not to be. The person that contacted me about it said that there probably wouldn’t be any decisions made until December; so even though its only the 3rd, I sent an email to that person just to let them know I was still here, still excited. She responded that the powers that be have decided not to hire someone new. They are looking at the workload and determining if they will need to hire someone, or if they can just reassign the workload to another person that is already there. She said to go ahead and look elsewhere; that she seriously doubted that they were going to hire someone else.

I know I said that I wasn’t going to get my hopes up about it, but you know I did. I tried not to dream about the extra money I would be earning, and the new (to me) vehicle I would buy, and how much better off we were all going to be with the extra money coming in. I tried really hard not to be disappointed by this news, but my eyes kept welling with tears for an hour after I got the email. I texted Sissy and hoped that she wouldn’t call me because I knew I would break down and weep if I heard her voice. Fortunately, she texted me back, “Buggery buttery bollocks!!”

Indeed.

I am getting so tired of this crap. What the heck did I do in a former life to get this kind of Karma? I mean, I’m not asking to win the half billion dollar lottery, am I? I’m not asking for a job that pays six or seven figures a year. I just want a decent job with decent benefits and decent pay that doesn’t make me want to slit my wrists after being there all day. I just want to earn the money we need to keep all the utilities on at the same time, all the animals fed and in safe shelters (oh, by the way, we have four rabbits now – yep, more animals!), and for Sis and Les to be able to get their medications refilled when they run out – not two weeks after the fact. I’d like to be able to have a little money in savings for when the Rodeo wheezes its last breath – which is probably not too far in the distant future. I just turned over 199,000 miles this morning on the way to work, and I need a bumper sticker that says, “Please honk if you see parts falling off.”

I feel like everything I touch turns to crap. Then I step in it and track it through the house. You know?

One bright spot right now, and I hesitate to call it that lest I get screwed on this too, is the fact that I am going back to school in a few weeks. I am going to Centralia College for a two-year degree, “Medical Administrative Assistant”. I took my COMPASS test (college placement) on Friday and did really well; I go on the 12th for the admissions and advisory fair for help with registering for my classes. I received two Pell Grants – one each for Winter and Spring semesters. I will have to attend classes part-time since I am currently working full time, but there are on-line and night classes so I should be OK.

Well, that’s it for the time being. Hopefully some good stuff will start happening so that I’m not so negative all the time. I hate being and sounding so negative.

Surely things can only go up from here, right?

Hello?

(sounds of crickets)…

Debbie Downer here...

Holidays are hard for me. Everywhere I look I see families getting together to celebrate, carry on or start new traditions, and overall enjoy each other’s company.

I don’t have that in my life. It makes me feel out of step, isolated, alone, and a bit of a freak.

My family does not celebrate any holidays or birthdays due to their religious beliefs. I don’t judge them for that; this country was based on religious freedom for all and this is what they believe to be the only true religion. I was raised this way since my 2nd birthday, so I don’t remember the few holidays we did celebrate, so I have never known anything different.

It was really hard for me once I started school. Before then, the only other children I knew all believed like we did and I never had any reason to question it. But once I was in school, there were all of these activities that I was not allowed to participate in. Do you realize that almost all holidays are celebrated during the school year? Columbus Day, Halloween, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas/Hanukkah, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, President’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day. It’s pretty much at least one per month. Every single time one came up, there were activities I was excluded from. Every single time I was given the third degree by my classmates and teachers alike. “How come?” they always asked. I would just shrug and say something like, “It’s against our religion.” Or, “Because my mom says I’m not allowed to.” My mom would usually meet with my teacher every year to explain the reasons why, and many of my teachers were very understanding and would find some other activity for me to do instead of the holiday themed project everyone else was doing. I hated that so much.

I don’t like to stand out in a crowd. It makes me uncomfortable. And you know your life sucks when the Jewish kids, who were often made fun of because they didn’t celebrate Christmas, made fun of you for not celebrating Christmas. When I lived in Mustang, Oklahoma, all three schools - high, middle, and elementary – combined to put on one big Christmas play. We were shuttled to the high school by bus several times a week to rehearse and practice the play. I sat out in the audience area and just watched. How I longed to be up on stage, to sing and act with the others. I could care less about what the play was for; I just wanted to participate, to belong. Also, I really loved to sing, dance, and act! I really wanted to be an entertainer of some sort when I grew up, and I ached to be on the stage, performing.

When junior high and high school rolled around, it was a bit easier although kids could be a lot more crewel with their taunts. My favorite retort about not celebrating Christmas was to ask someone how long they had to wait to get something they really wanted. Had they been drooling over it since May? I never had to wait for something I really wanted. If my parents knew that there was something I really wanted, they bought it for me. No waiting for my birthday or Christmas. I will admit, that was pretty nice.

I “drifted away” from the church in my early 20’s, once I was out on my own. It was purposeful; I meant to do it. I never really wanted to be in this, or any, religion. I was baptized when I was 16 out of fear; fear of disappointing my mother (not God) and my sister; fear of being rejected by my peers and friends in the church; fear of never being allowed to get married. I was engaged to be engaged to a young man and I loved him with all my heart. But our parents would never allow us to be married if we both were not baptized. He believed in this religion and went willingly; I thought that eventually, if I was married, I would eventually be able to accept this religion in my heart, so I went outwardly willingly, but inwardly against my will. A year and a half later he left me for a woman 16 years our senior; they have been happily married and very active in the church’s ministry for over 25 years now. My mother thinks that this is what caused the rift between me and religion; I cannot get her to accept that it was merely one more weight on the already out of balance and tipping scale.

All of my co-workers throughout the years seem to talk endlessly about their holiday plans with their families; some complain about having to travel or the enormous amount of cooking or shopping they have to do, but they all have this…this thing...this thread…in common with each other. The radio, TV, internet, blogs, craft sites, magazines, super markets, department stores – you can’t get away from the holidays; there is nowhere to go that isn’t saturated in decorations, sales, recipes, seasonal foods, music, etc.

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t feel offended by the holidays; I feel…envious. Not of the gifts, or what the holidays are actually celebrating (or think they are celebrating), but the traditions, the belonging.

I also don’t blame my religious upbringing or the religion itself. I blame myself for not standing up for myself at an earlier age; making my mother understand that this just was not for me. My father was raised as a child in the same religion (by sheer coincidence) but never committed to it and was not involved in it as I was growing up. I was often pouty because I wanted to stay home with Dad instead of going to church. When I was about 12 or so and really chafing under my mother’s religious constraint, I vowed that when I turned 16 that I would stand up to her and I knew that my father would have my back about my freedom to make my own choice in the matter. That was snuffed out, however, by my father’s untimely death from an aggressive cancer two weeks after my 14th birthday. I tried throwing myself into the religion, hoping it would be like an arranged marriage and that I would soon come to accept it and love it like I saw others doing all around me. But my heart seems to remain like a stone, non-absorbent.

I feel like a little wooden rowboat without oars, adrift in a harbor filled with party boats. No one sees me. No one hears me. I am unnoticed and doomed to be torn asunder by a speeding pleasure craft.

Happy holidays.

I moved away from Montana for this?

I just don’t know what to do. I am so unhappy at home but I don’t have anywhere else to go. I want to be with Sissy, but I never get to see her anymore. Mom’s car died a couple of months ago and she cannot afford to get it fixed or to buy another one. Her hours at work were cut to just three full days and half of Saturday each week. One of the guys at the company, who will tell anyone within earshot what a "fine Christian" he is, was giving her rides to and from work every day since they worked the same schedule and he has to drive right past her place. Mom gave him $20 a week for gas. After a couple of weeks he decided he didn’t want to do it anymore, so he quit helping her. Bastard. No one else will help her out even though there are at least two other people that could, and everyone knows that she has no other way to get to work (public transport is no aid in this situation). So, since Sis has been going down on Thursday nights in preparation for her weekend job down there, she has been taking her to work on Friday, Saturday, and Monday mornings, and picking her up from work in the evenings (Mom is supposed to work on Wednesdays, but has no way to get to work that day). Since Sis has to pick Mom up on Monday evenings, she doesn’t start for home until after 6pm; most of the time she winds up spending Monday night as well and then not getting home until Tuesday evening. I leave the house at 6am and don’t get home until 5:30-6pm, depending on whether or not I need to run a few errands or not. I go to bed between 8-9pm because I have to get up so early. So, I get to see her 3-4 nights a week for 2-3 hours each evening, if I’m lucky. We never get to do anything together, we don’t get to talk or watch movies because Les is always planted in the recliner watching whatever he wants on NetFlix.

It is so incredibly frustrating. She is the main reason why I moved back out here and I never get to see her anymore. She is also very frustrated by it and feels like she is just visiting in her own home.

I hate living with Les and Jim; Les is just an ill-mannered 4 year old living in an old man’s body, and Jim is just an asshole. Les throws temper tantrums if things don’t go exactly his way – and this would include being able to take a pan out of the cupboard without other pans getting in his way or trying to find the bottle of mustard in the fridge – yells at the dogs for barking 80,000 times a day (which they do constantly because they are DOGS), stomps around swearing and being generally pissy on a regular basis for no reason that he can tell you. Jim never takes a shower or washes his hands and he is FILTHY all the time. The end of the couch that he sits on is pretty much ruined – three shades darker than the rest of the couch from his clothes and hands. He pees into an old gallon milk jug in his room instead of getting up to use the bathroom like a normal person in the night or morning; when he poops he plugs up the toilet about 85% of the time. He is also the world’s expert on every freaking thing under the sun and will contradict everything you say just for sport. He always has some smartass remark to make, even if it’s just a response to me asking him to pass the salt at the dinner table. Les constantly feeds the dogs from the table then yells at them for begging or from having the runs all over the house because he gave them a bowl of chili “to share”. He usually leaves the crap for me to clean up when I get home from work because he has been “cleaning up shit all day and I’m tired of it.” I keep explaining to him that when he feeds them crap from the table, ESPECIALLY stuff like CHILI, they are going to poop. A lot. And if he doesn’t get up out of the chair to let them outside more than once every six hours, then they are going to poop a lot in the house. It’s not rocket science. Jim has a tendency to eat everything he can get his hands on. If there is something that you buy from the store and you want to be sure you get at least one serving of it, you have to hide it. If it’s in his line of sight, it’s fair game. And that is fine; but he will eat ALL of it and never consider the fact that perhaps someone else may want some of it as well. Case in point: the other day he ate an ENTIRE jar of marinated mushrooms from Costco. Now, remember, this is a Costco-sized jar – probably 80oz or so. To be fair, he didn’t eat them all in one sitting; he ate ¾ of the jar in one sitting and the rest of it the next day before anyone could even try to get any. I have started Weight Watchers and have to hide all non-perishable foods in my room – including cans of tuna fish – to keep the guys out of them. I have one drawer in the back fridge in the washroom for my perishable foods, and I have to keep reminding them to please leave that for me. When I tell them it’s for my “special diet”, they are pretty good about it. Mom made up a few little laminated signs that say “This food is for Heather’s diet lunches for work. Please don’t eat it.” I haven’t used them, but I will if I have to.

This is why I haven’t been blogging lately. I feel like everything I have to say is negative and whiney. I am really unhappy but I don’t have anyone I can talk to about it. I talk to my mom about it a little bit, but I have to be careful because sometimes what I say gets back to Sissy, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings. A few months ago Sis and I were driving to the store and she literally begged me to promise her that I would never leave her. She grabbed my arm so hard that I nearly steered the Rodeo into a ditch, and said, “Promise me you won’t ever leave me.” How do I say “no” to that? She is also quite unhappy but can’t really change anything either. Les is 75 years old and is not going to change. He is very controlling and punishes her for being away from home even though he knows that she must work because he cannot. He gets so upset when she stays over on Monday nights instead of coming home.  It’s killing me to watch her slide further and further into insecurity because of the way he treats her. When she makes dinner, she constantly asks him if it’s OK, does he like it, etc. Seriously, she will ask him this four or five times until he gets mad. Or, if he is “punishing” her, he will say something like, “Oh, it’s all right I guess.” “It’s too salty.” “There’s not enough spice in it.” “You didn’t make enough.” (this even though he can’t eat all that he put on his plate) Sometimes she makes dinner and puts it on the table and he’ll say something like, “What the hell is this crap?” It makes me want to launch myself across the table and choke the living snot out of him. When we explain what the hell the crap is, sometimes he is happy and other times he pouts. Usually, the latter if he is punishing us. If I make dinner and he says that he doesn’t want any of that crap for dinner, I tell him that’s fine and he can make his own crap for dinner. I do this in a very calm and matter of fact way, despite the fact that I really just want to throw it at him. It’s not like that all the time; they do laugh quite a bit and have a good time ripping on each other; but you can only be nasty to someone for so long before that is all you remember. When the good times come, they just aren’t as good.

We are also just so incredibly broke. I finally went back to work for Longview Fibre but I really don’t like the job. The company and the people are great, but I’m basically an over-qualified file clerk and it’s horrible. What little money I make goes to gas ($600 a month), a few groceries for my eating plan, dog food, cat food, kitty litter, goat food, hay for the goats, helping Sis with her car payment, paying the electric bill, the PO box fee, Les’ chewing tobacco (trust me, it’s hell when he is without it or thinks he might run out of it so I will pay whatever it costs to keep him supplied), any groceries we need during the week when Sis is down south, trying to keep my cell phone in service, trying to keep Mom’s cell phone in service, trying to pay the ever escalating phone/internet bill that I am always behind on and can never quite catch up, helping Sis with her IRS bill, car insurance, my storage bill, Sis’s storage bill, etc. Money is “borrowed” but never actually paid back. I can’t save anything and haven’t had a hair cut or the oil changed in the Rodeo in about nine months. The front passenger side wheel is making a horrible noise and I just know that it will sheer off from the axle while I’m on the freeway. I just have to turn the radio volume up so I can't hear the noise.  She just turned over 197,000 miles while on my work today; it’s months away from being 20 years old and if it dies, I am seriously SOL.

One possible light at the end of my tunnel is that a better job may be coming my way. I was contacted by someone I used to work with; I can’t really say anything about it as it is not really an official job within the company yet, and I won’t have any idea as to whether or not I’ll actually be considered for it until sometime in December. It would be a great job and I assured the person that contacted me about it that I am EXTREMELY ENTHUSIASTIC about it. They had me send them my resume, which they in turn submitted to the powers that are making up this new "team", along with the person's personal recommendation.  I was extremely flattered by the offer.  The downside? A two-hour, 94 mile, each way commute that will cost me approximately $900 a month in gas alone. I hope that if I get this job that I will be able to buy a different car that gets more than the Rodeo’s 15 mpg. It will probably cut my gas bill in half, but then I’ll have a car payment to make and more expensive car insurance. I am hoping to get a 2000ish VW Beetle (convertible if possible!). Or similar. Something that gets closer to 30mpg., although with my credit now in shreds I'll be lucky if they let me buy a donkey.  I’m not making any plans or getting my hopes up.

I feel trapped. Trapped by wanting to be with Sissy and trying to help her out financially and sisterly. At the same time I hate living with a house full of people that do nothing but cramp my style and piss me off. I live with them and not my sister. I have a two bedroom home worth of furniture rotting in storage that I have to pay $100 a month for. I am supporting, caring for and cleaning up after animals that are not mine and at the same time I am not allowed to bring home a pet for myself. I still live in a storage room with a bed in it, despite promises of it being cleared out (and despite the fact that Jim’s room was cleared out and decorated for him within two weeks of his moving in, with art from my house to boot!). Instead of being able to spend quality time with my sweet and wonderful sister, I have to spend all of my time with two Neanderthal knuckle draggers. I hate it. But I have nowhere else to go and even if I did have somewhere else to go, I have no way to pay for it. I moved so that I could spend more time with my family, but I still never get to see the kids. Sometimes, I feel like leaving Montana (and my good job) was a big mistake.

I’m so sorry to be like this, but I have no one to talk to. I hesitate to talk about this stuff on here because I don’t know who in my family reads my blog (probably no one) but I have no friends to vent to. Mom understands but I hate constantly whining about all of this to her; it makes it sound like I am complaining about Sis but I’m really not. It’s just so hard to hold it all in, all the time. I have quiet little cries in the bathroom at work, and sometimes I bawl my head off on the drive home. I feel like a total bitch for complaining about the fact that I have a job, a vehicle that runs (for now), a paycheck, and a family that lets me live with them when so many others have so much less. But sometimes those things just don’t equal balance, contentment and happiness, you know? It’s like looking at rich people and thinking that they must have no problems in life at all. But we all know that is not true.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Besides “shut up and be grateful”?

Cheers. Thanks a lot.

Strawberry Daiquiri Jello poke cake

I lurve this cake; it's an oldie and a goodie.  Usually these cakes are made with a white or yellow cake mix and a standard flavored Jello, like lime, lemon, strawberry, or raspberry.  I decided to go a little outside the normal box on this one.

I used a strawberry cake mix and strawberry daiquiri Jello.  It's a seasonal Jello - they usually come out with it in the summer, along with margarita and pina colada.  Did you know that they used to make a celery and a mixed vegetable flavor? 

Mmmmmm...celery....

Nope, can't do it.  I realize that these flavors were probably for those people who enjoy a savory gelatin experience, but I have to say that I am not one of them.  Ick.

Anyhoo, here is what I used to make the cake:

Basically, it's the cake mix, the oil and eggs to make the cake, and the Jello.  I didn't show you the pictures of the water, because...well, that would just be silly.  Those are fresh eggs straight from our chickens!  So cool!

Make the cake according to the directions on the box and bake.

When the cake is done, let cool for about 15 minutes, then poke holes in the cake.  I used a wooden spoon handle and it works perfectly.  Make sure the holes go all the way down into the cake.  Make the Jello according to the directions on the box.  Pour the Jello into the holes in the cake and then all over it.  (I had a picture of the holes and of me pouring the Jello over, but they seem to have disappeared very mysteriously.)

Refrigerate for several hours so that the Jello is well set.  Frost with as much Cool Whip as you can stand (we like LOTS) and serve.

This was a HUGE hit with everyone.  It is so moist and super yummy; it would make a nice dessert after spicy food, or on a hot day.  Or, you know, whenever.

I have been told that I am allowed to make this on a daily basis, and have been given carte blanche to experiment with flavors.  I want to do a lemon/lemon combo (I love lemon), and we have a pineapple cake mix that I have been dying to play with.  We have this funky weird grocery store in Chehalis called The Shop 'N Kart, in the Yard Birds mall; they have all kinds of interesting, not usually carried elsewhere kinds of stuff.  It's an odd place: a combo of grocery store; a "mall" where people sell anything from used books and VHS tapes to clothing and athletic shoes; a kind of expo area where there are large rummage sales, livestock sales, plant sales, MMA fights, you name it; an area you can rent for large parties; and even a kind of campground where you can park your RV and stay a while.  There is also a small movie theater, a barber shop, and a few other little odds and ends.  The picture below was taken in the mid 70's, but not much has changed.

At the bottom left, you can see a huge, 60' tall back and yellow bird that was the mascot for, well, forever; that is until one fateful day in 1976 when it burned to the ground.  Apparently a car had an engine fire and it spread to the bird that was just freshly varnished.  Poof!  No more bird.  There is a different one now; it kinda looks like a sitting duck.  Anyhoo, the grocery store is cool because they have a lot of ethnic stuff that you can't find anywhere else, and I think that sometimes they buy out stock that is either being discontinued or something - hence the pineapple cake mix that I have never seen anywhere before ever. 

Wow, that was a long story to tell you about a cake mix, huh?  I'll be sure to let you know what I do with it.

TTFN.

Our funny little babies

I love our little doggies.  True, sometimes having five small dogs can be...urm...challenging.  Yeah, we'll go with challenging.  Like when they are all barking hysterically at the top of their lungs because - good LORD - the next door neighbor has the audacity to go out into their own yard!  But you see, it's in their line of sight, so it's their yard, their road, their airspace...you see where I'm going with this.  I go out into our yard and everything is fine, but I go out the gate - they SEE me go out the gate - but now I'm on the other side of the fence and they don't know who the heck I am and I MUST BE DESTROYED!  BY BARKING!

But, mostly, they are sweet and snugly.  Sam has come so far from when we first brought him home.  Having him neutered made a HUGE difference.  Jim kept saying that it wouldn't matter, he's too old for it to change his behavior, but boy howdy was he wrong.  Sam is so much happier now!  He plays more, snuggles more, runs hysterically around the house more, is less "on guard".  Sis always called him her "little warrior" because he was always at the ready for attack.  You could see in his face his doubts about why you wanted to pet him or scratch his belly.  He had finally started to relax just a little and actually lay on his side and present his belly to you, but only about once every few days or so.  Now, you just look at him and he flops at your feet onto his back and wags his tail for all he is worth.  It makes my heart so happy!  He has even started sleeping on his back, unattended, and that is definitely a sign that he feels secure.

Sleeping with one eye open!

Mrs. Weenie is the biggest snuggler of them all.  That dog can curl herself into the tiniest and tightest of balls; it's almost like she doesn't have any bones!  Her absolute favorite spot to sleep is anywhere on Les.  Les spends a lot of time napping in the recliner, so she is usually in seventh heaven, as the following pictures will show (these pictures were taken over a 45-minute span):

Many times, it starts out like this, in the neck-roll position

But sometimes it starts out like this

Which then leads to this

And this

Which results in this

And sometimes, we even have some of this going on

Sam, Sis, Bruiser, GiGi

We love our funny little babies.

TTFN